He Doesn’t Love You, Let It Go

June 8, 2010  |  

Whoa girl! He said what?!! After how long you’ve been together? The nerve of that man, leading you on like that when he had no love for you.

There’s nothing worse than being totally enraptured by a man, willing to do anything for him when he doesn’t have feelings for you. It seems against the natural order of things to put more effort into a man than he does you, but the story is as old as time. Once it’s all over you have two options: let it go or hold on… like a lovesick fool.

Dr. Janice Levine PhD suggests going with the first option. “Not only are you just dragging out the pain and unhappiness [if you stay], but your confidence and self-respect will take a major hit as well. Often, the hurt is less about losing the man himself and more about not having someone,” she reveals.

When the break-up happens, take an assessment — of yourself, of him, and the two of you together. Sometimes, certain people just don’t mix. “If he doesn’t love you, it’s because you are just not a good match,” said Dr. Levine. Think about your relationship objective? Was this going to lead to marriage or was it just a good time? If you didn’t have an objective (or he didn’t), THAT might have been the problem.

Last thing you do: Thank him for being honest — letting you know the truth shows respect for your time and heart; allowing both of you to move on to something more real. It’s all about loving yourself first, because it makes the blow easier to take. Don’t blame yourself for things not working out, understand the good you can take away from the experience, and remember dirty glasses don’t see well.

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