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In love and life, all we can do is make the best decisions based on the information we have. Of course, life has a way of giving us information a little too late, like a light slap on the wrist to make us pay closer attention next time! We’ve probably all felt that sting of the one who got away when looking back on the guys we never gave a chance. Knowing now what a harsh world the dating scene is, here are 14 guys you probably wish you’d said yes to.
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The guy who made you a CD
You thought at the time it was sappy, and the idea of him sitting in his room for hours, hand selecting each of these songs, based on moments with you, or things he knew about you, was creepy. Today, when plenty of men will just throw money at a situation, you’d kill for a thoughtful, time-consuming gesture like a personalized CD!
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The guy who did your homework
You probably wished that guy had more self-respect. You probably even saw him as a little bit pathetic. Now you realize, that for people we really care about, we do what we can to lighten their load in life. And you realize, “Crap…that guy really liked me!”
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The guy who came to all your shows/recitals/poetry readings
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Was he a hopeless groupie? Or did he just realize, before you did, that you support the people you like and love? Today, as you date super busy, self-involved men who can barely accompany you to your grandma’s birthday, you’ll realize how special it was to have a guy who wanted to be your partner in everything.
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The guy who was happy to stay home
He wasn’t exciting enough, or cool enough, or edgy enough. There were clubs to go to and people to see, and places to show off your hot outfit. Of course now you know all of that is overrated, and at the end of the day, all that matters is finding someone you can have fun with, even when you’re “bored.”
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The guy who told you he liked you “too fast”
The one who was looking you straight in the eye and counting off all of your wonderful qualities. The one who you ended up squirming around and feeling suffocated by. Now you realize he was just an emotionally evolved person who had no shame in sharing his feelings and admiration for someone. Good luck finding that in a man today!
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The sober guy
Your instant reaction (especially in college or your early twenties) was that this was a lifestyle choice that just wouldn’t work for you—that your worlds would collide. Today, after dating a whole slew of characters, you realize that cutting back on drinking to be around a kind, solid guy is a small price to pay.
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The guy who went to church
Religion is nearly invisible in college and your early twenties. It’s a time when, even if someone grew up religious, many people give up their faith for a bit to try a more “liberal” lifestyle. Someone who went to church regularly seemed too “extreme” for you, and perhaps too conservative. Now, you’d be happy to find someone who had a little faith, and who enjoyed the grounding ritual of going to church, synagogue, or even just yoga!
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The guy who lived at home
The guy who still lived with his parents because he was working on a “big idea.” Maybe he was creating an app, or writing up a business plan, but he was no fun compared to the other guys working as bartenders or personal trainers, making loads of cash and setting up cool apartments. Now you realize that giving up luxuries early on, in favor of a bigger plan and bigger pay off is smart. And that guy living with his parents, saving money, he was smart.
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The guy who didn’t call five times a day
You thought it was completely disrespectful that he would only call once a day, at night. You spent the first twelve hours of every day feeling like you were going to explode in anger as his name didn’t show up on your phone. Today you realize the guy who calls five times a day doesn’t have a life, or is too clingy, and it’s normal to get caught up in your own responsibilities/job/social life and just call the person you’re dating once or twice a day. It’s healthy.
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The constant social butterfly
The guy whose phone was always going off with invitations to one event or party. The guy who knew everyone, everywhere he went. This guy didn’t pay enough attention to you, as far as you were concerned. There were too many people cluttering your time together. Maybe you don’t realize it yet, but when you’re married, you’ll crave an active social life! It can be lonely with just you and your partner.
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The guy who was only visiting
Afraid of being heartbroken when it was time to say goodbye, you said no to a date with the charming guy, just in town for summer school. But sometimes dating is about learning, not about finding a husband. And really, any time you can open yourself up to love, you grow. Heartbreak and breakups are inevitable. You’ll have no fun in life if you make all your decisions based on avoiding potentially negative experiences.
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The guy where you were visiting
While you were studying abroad, you met a guy who took your breath away. But you decided not to exchange information or see each other again, because you figured, what’s the point? Refer to the previous point in this article. PLUS, there’s nothing like getting to know a country through the eyes of a local…who you’re dating.
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The guy who was “too busy” with his career
The guy who couldn’t just come hang out on your couch every night because he was at networking events, or working on his website, or writing a grant for potential investors. You thought he was too self-involved. Now you realize he was ambitious, hard working and responsible.
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The guy who wanted to take things slow
Three months into dating and he still didn’t call you his girlfriend?! And, he only asked you out two nights a week?! You couldn’t tolerate that pace in college or your early twenties. Of course now you know that’s a healthy speed, and those whirlwind romances that involve spending seven nights a week together tend to crash and burn fast.
