Shea Allen, a local reporter in Huntsville, Alabama, may have thought she was being fiery and whimsical when she published a 10-point reflection, aptly titled Confessions of a Red Headed Reporter, on her personal blog. But her employer, ABC affiliate WAAY-TV, wasn’t amused and instead made a confession of their own: You’re Fired!
So what did she say that lead to her getting her walking papers? Well before I share, let’s see if you can spot the terminable offense:
1. I’ve gone bra-less during a live broadcast and no one was the wiser.
2. My best sources are the ones who secretly have a crush on me.
3. I am better live when I have no script and no idea what I’m talking about.
4. I’ve mastered the ability to contort my body into a position that makes me appear much skinner in front of the camera than I actually am.
5. I hate the right side of my face.
6. I’m frightened of old people and I refuse to do stories involving them or the places they reside.
7. Happy, fluffy, rainbow stories about good things make me depressed.
8. I’ve taken naps in the news car.
9. If you ramble and I deem you unnecessary for my story, I’ll stop recording but let you think otherwise.
10. I’ve stolen mail and then put it back. (maybe)
If you guessed her irrational and highly offensive fear of old people (number 6) or coping to a federal crime (number 10), you would be wrong. Actually we don’t know for sure as the news station, who terminated Allen three days after the post was published, did so “without cause,” which we all know means, we don’t have to tell you -ish. But what we do know is that Allen believes that her firing had a lot to do with admittedly to going bra-less on the air. That’s right, despite other sources, who confirmed to Gawker that Allen was on her third offense with the news stations, including a 2012 arrest for an unspecified warrant and three-day suspension from the station for running a news package “that contained profanity and racial slurs,” Allen is convinced that it was her top-half commando, which did her in.
Listen I feel her because I too hate bras. I hate the padding; I hate the itchy lace; I hate the straps that dig in or are always too loose to be useful; I hate how the really good ones cost so damn much and most importantly I hate the under wire, which by the way had to be invented by a sadomasochist because who else would think it was a good idea to place a metal rod into fabric lining? Most days, I can’t wait to come home and slip that bad boy out through the sleeve of my shirt and toss it into the other pile of chest torture devices.
I also believe that they are the most useless articles of clothing ever created since the fifth pocket inside of the pocket on a pair of jeans. And in case you are still holding on to the clever manipulation of Mad Men, who convinced you of some medical significance to bra-wearing, a French study has already debunked that myth, concluding that not only do bras not offer support but they may also cause saggy breasts nor do they help with back pain. Matter of fact, the study, which followed women for 15 years, suggested that those, who did not wear bras had firmer breast and were likely to see a 7 millimeter lift as measured from their nipples each year. So yeah, those who are daring enough to buck social trend and go bra-less deserve a promotion and an award for being a bad A$$ woman.
But despite Allen’s insistence, I just don’t buy for one second that’s being a bra-less renegade is why she was fired. Call me jaded but I think trying to conflate what was obviously a long, laundry list of other reasons to get fired with some sort of feminist cause of concern is kind of tacky too. Either that or this is just the case of a painfully unaware white woman on the planet. In either instance, I’m not crying for her, Argentina. After all she is a pretty, young, white woman with a knack for attention-seeking. In short, she’ll be alright.