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They say opposites attract, but we think the writers of these shows pushed it a little too far. But hey: if our fantasies can’t be lived out on TV, where can they be?

Britta and Troy

Maybe on the kindergarten playground would the uptight, model student girl like the boy who picks his nose and plays with battleships, but as grownups, these two characters just wouldn’t vibe. That could be why we only barely see a nod at the relationship of these two on Community.

 

Buffy and Spike

Let’s face it: the writers of this tremendous hit filled with heartthrobs were just giving the audience what we wanted: every possible combination of hookups between the cast of steamy actors in Buffy. In any other scenario, agora sweater-wearing schoolgirl would find slicked-back-bleached-hair underground bad boy repulsive.

 

Ann and Tom

We get that the writers of Parks and Recreation were toying with the concept that a woman becomes desperate when lonely, but they pushed it with this couple. Ann never once seems to like Tom—even for a second—during their courtship.

Gloria and Jay

In any other scenario, you’d know some gold digging were happening if you saw an early thirty-something woman with the body of a Swimsuit Illustrated centerspread and hot Colombian accent married to a 60-something balding man with a gut and twenty velvet tracksuits. But of course, the writers of Modern Family make this out to be a fairytale situation, in which these two really do love each other. Only on television.

Charlotte and Harry

Women can learn to stop being superficial and appreciate a man who wants to treat them well, but they don’t learn this overnight. Charlotte had her description of the perfect husband down to a T (handsome, tall, has hair etc.) up until the moment she met Harry. And we’re supposed to accept she just stopped caring about all that?

Amy and Sheldon

Seeing as Sheldon has no emotions, pairing him with anybody on the quirky The Big Bang Theory seems odd. He never once lights up at Amy’s advances, or attempts to be seductive. In fact, it seems like if she disappeared, he would forget she’d ever existed.

Lindsay and Tobias

We get that the rich, gorgeous, alcoholic shopaholic Lindsay is supposed to have some long lost past with ultra-effeminate and hippy Tobias, but we just can’t imagine that past. We just can’t. We still love Arrested Development though, naturally.

Sam and Diane

Another instance of the hoighty toighty woman who has her life together and morals set in stone falling for the man who can barely make toast without burning it. We actually get how Diane finally realized that Sam is a hunk—we don’t understand how Sam was seduced by Diane’s all-beige wardrobe. But Cheers! Anyways.

Joan and Paul

While the two never rendezvous in front of our eyes on this musical-beds drama, we learn that sultry Joan and unassuming Paul dated prior to season 1. Joan is flirty, ambitious, and witty. Paul is lazy and inconsequential—which could be why he was written off the show.

House and Cuddy

Alright, we like this relationship. We like it a lot. But only because it’s one of those “hurts so good” type of things. The major jerk doctor and his hard-a** boss make one scintillatingly toxic couple, who should never be together in real life.

 

Dwight and Angela

How can we believe that Angela, who probably irons her clothing in the bathroom every time she takes ten steps, brushes her hair one hundred times before going to bed and keeps to a strict 1,200 calorie a day diet would ever move to a farm?

 

Dallas and George

The concept of a grounded, wholesome, moral and hardworking man learning to like the superficial and frivolous world of Suburgatory is unbelievable as it is. The fact that he’d fall for essentially the queen of the Barbies: even less believable.

 

Sookie and Eric

Sookie craves nothing but aggressive, dominant, manly, blood- (literally) men until one day, she gets her socks off over essentially a puppy in the body of a Viking on True Blood?

Ron and Tammy

The gang from Parks and Recreation make our list again as we question the once-marriage of whiskey-drinking, ax-swinging, cabin-building, raw-meat eating, man of almost zero words Ron Swanson and frantic, frenzied and feisty Tammy.

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