Are You Strong Enough to Lead from Behind?

October 15, 2010  |  

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Black women have been raised to be strong and independent, to lead not follow and wholeheartedly pursue their ambitions. As a result, we have a generation of successful and independently stable women who need a man for nothing more than intimate companionship. A wise man (my late father) twice told me, women should always have their own and be prepared to step into position if a man loses his way (or drops sense of his responsibilities). From those words I learned to never need a man. But, I also understood my place in relationships.

Earlier this week an article was posted regarding the act of submission and marriage. Due to its historical context, some women find the term condescending. However, it is necessary to have a successful marriage. The black independent woman has a great sense of self and accomplishment, which can sometimes come off as controlling and abrasive. With a track record of making good decisions, it is difficult to relinquish total leadership. Submitting to a man is not to be a docile doormat but to be a supportive partner, to be the pillar on which your man stands.

Men and women were designed to come together as a single team, but a team can only have one captain. As strong women, we have to learn to see the strength in the ability to lead from the behind. We have to see the reward in sometimes cheerleading from the sideline. It takes a special woman to fully submit and allow her man to be a man. We cannot contradict ourselves by asking for a strong man and then trying to control the relationship. If we want to see real men arise, they must be given the responsibility to (metaphorically) walk five steps ahead.

It is easy to be in front of the camera, most of the work goes on behind the scenes. The supporting cast has great responsibility but also exhibits humility. Are you strong enough to sacrifice your pride and be the Indian your chief needs by his side?

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