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Ladies, how many of you have had amazing sex with your partner from the first time you got it popping? Good for you if you have, but for many folks, it takes a little bit longer to grow the connection and build up the collective repoire. Even if you are burning with desire for your (wo)man, you still may find a couple of bumps in the road to mutual bliss: he likes it fast, she likes it slow. He says “let there be light!”, but she would rather do it in the dark. So how do you make it work?

I’d say “communication” is the most important word you will ever read in this column. It means the difference between amazing sex and a potentially damaged relationship. Your new partner is coming to you with his or her own set of tricks, desires and even battle scars. They may be feeling shy about how to approach your body OR, they could feel over-confident about their ability to please you. It is key that you open your mouth (heh,heh) and speak up early on. Let your needs be heard!

Also, don’t take a bad first time as a sign that you and your boo aren’t sexually compatible. For example, a lot of men have issues keeping it “up” with a new lover. Doesn’t mean at all that he doesn’t think you’re Hot; he could simply be nervous, overly excited, tired, e.t.c. The best way to get a good sex routine going: lots and lots and LOTS of practice!  Yesterday’s frustrations can lead to tomorrow’s elation. If your heart is with this person, your loins can very easily follow. Don’t give up!

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