We’re already working so hard to find men/impress men/get men to commit/keep men. We don’t need any more work on our plate as it is. So please, stop wasting your energy on these things that men don’t even notice, or worse yet, don’t want!
Agreeing with him all the time
Men (the ones that aren’t narcissistic) can’t stand a woman that agrees with everything they say. When he asks you where you want to have dinner, it’s because he genuinely wants to know (so don’t say, “wherever you want to go”)! When he picks at you about something, he wants you to fight back! A man can tell immediately when a woman is just agreeing to appease him, or make him like her. And it’s a turn off.
Learning to cook
How, in this day and age, are there still so many women that feel ashamed if they don’t speak Kitchen as a second language, on top of all the other things they do between work and socializing? So long as you can feed him, a man doesn’t really care if you’re an extraordinary chef. Don’t feel like you have to buy up the cooking section of Barnes & Nobles just because you suddenly have a man at your table most nights a week. He’ll find your effort cute, but he won’t judge you if you don’t do it. Just FYI: men like tak-eout too (just don’t make it an every night thing).
Being a relationship chameleon
It’s important to take an interest in something your partner is passionate about or invested in. But, be genuine about it. If you’re not crazy about football, don’t suddenly buy all the paraphernalia for his team, cancel all your Sunday girls nights to watch games and spend your hard earned money on season tickets. A man can’t enjoy you sharing his interest with him, if he knows you’re not really that interested.
Taking his teasing seriously
When people are in love and comfortable with each other, they tease each other. You make fun of that T-shirt he never washes. He makes fun of that part of your hair that always sticks up. But, he doesn’t actually want you to do anything about it. You know what will bother your man even more than that part of your hair that sticks up? You going through the most to fix it. He’ll wish you were secure enough to live with your quirks, and make fun of them yourself.
Here’s a tip that would save women so much money: men care much less about their birthdays than women do. Women feel disrespected if people don’t make a whole to-do over their birthday. Men feel shocked if someone puts a cupcake on their desk. So don’t go beyond your means, financially or otherwise, to buy him a gift. It will make him more uncomfortable than it will happy and make him think he’s got to do the same to make you happy on every holiday. An expensive gift puts a lot of pressure on a man to do something just as big for you in return.
Being his biggest cheerleader
Of course you should show support for your man’s aspirations, but don’t overwhelm him and the rest of the world by promoting him. One, “Come see my man play guitar at the local bar!” tonight Facebook post is sweet. Multiple posts, tweets and mass text messages for the week leading up to the event annoys your friends, and embarrasses your man.
You’ve heard it a dozen times, yet somehow some of you are still purchasing expensive bras that can’t even be worn under a shirt because they’re too ruffly, see-through or…diamond-y. A man does not care if you have over the top alluring lingerie in your drawer. Wear something sensual every once in a while and try to spare him your granny panties, and that’s about all the effort he needs.
Don’t be embarrassed because you haven’t taken a razor to your downstairs area in a couple of days, or if you’re a week overdue for your wax. Do you know how happy a man is every time he’s just let down there? Sure, men notice the difference between completely smooth and a forest, but they don’t pay much attention to the in-between times.
Dress up for the gym
As a single girl, don’t put effort into how you look when going to the gym. Looking attractive at the gym is the least attractive thing to guys at the gym (except for the equally thirsty ones who are looking for that booty sticking all up and through your tights). It screams, “I just come to the gym to meet men!” Leave the makeup at home, and don’t wear a sports bra worthy of a Sports Illustrated cover. What a man finds really attractive is a woman that takes her fitness seriously, and is comfortable enough to go without makeup for an hour.
Bad news ladies that do 100 crunches every day before bathing suit season: men don’t care about, nor do they see, the difference between a flat tummy and a toned one. All most men care about is that you look healthy and proportionate. In fact, most men report that they find a four or six pack off putting and masculine on a woman.
You’re not a bad girlfriend if you don’t perform 4-play for your boyfriend every time you do the deed. When it comes to sex, men are like a switch: there is only on and off. And if they are already “on” they’re ready to go. Sometimes 4-play just slows things down and makes them impatient!
You don’t have to be the girls doing body shots, or pounding the table with sake bombs, or dancing on that table for men to think you look fun and approachable. In fact, that often makes men feel unwelcome, because you’re so busy and already having fun without them. If you want to dance on a table, fine, but do it for yourself and not to get attention. Men can see right through that.
Wearing a load of makeup
Most men think that bare skin is sexier than made up skin, even if makeup alters the woman’s features to make her look more attractive. Again: bare skin is sexier than a perfect nose, pouty lips or smokey eyes. And if you pull all that makeup off and he sees a completely different person he might freak. Almost as much as he might freak if you leave your foundation, eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick all over his pillow when you wake up in the morning.
Bringing his parents gifts
The first time you meet his parents, it’s polite to bring flowers or a small gift. But if they live nearby and you see them on a regular basis, bringing them something every time you see them will make you look desperate for approval, and it will make both your guy and his parents uncomfortable, feeling they are always in some sort of debt to you.