4 Big Lessons Paris Hilton’s Knife Incident Teaches Us

August 25, 2010  |  

You ever have this creepy feeling while you’re in the shower that some lunatic jerk is going to try to break in? Well, rotten bastards are always abound, as the LAPD confirmed Wednesday that their suspect, Nathan Lee Parada, 31, attempted burglary into Paris Hilton’s Mulholland Estates home.

The suspect was allegedly armed with knives, and as Hilton tweeted today:

So Scary, just got woken up to a guy trying to break into my house holding 2 big knifes. Cops are here arresting h[im] http://twitpic.com/2hrfnm

Scary indeed.

Regardless of what anyone may think of the “Paris” persona created by Madame Hilton, we happen to think Paris is a perfectly sweet girl, and were stunned by the news of an intruder in her home. We hope she’s well, and thank her for the following lessons we’ve drawn from this horrid incident:

1) What with the upkeep required in Hollywood, going under the knife is not cheap, but seriously? Attacking people with knives is not the way to go. Anyone who does that, gets a big fat “F” for FAIL. That’s so totally menacing, disgusting and awful! Don’t do that! Come on!

2) Thank goodness for like, the sweetest boyfriends, ever–because Madame Hilton’s sweetie of a boyfriend was apparently inside the house with her, and confronted the burglar. Three cheers for the sweetie poos in our lives!

3) Perhaps Twitter isn’t half bad (still Team Facebook over here), because Paris was able to post pics of the highly disturbing incident and break the news even before some of the top newspapers in the country could. In fact, many of them sourced her Twitter page in their stories. Three cheers for social media.

4) See? For those who choose L.A. over New York City, it’s raining crazies no matter where you live.

Be safe, mes cheries. Feel better, Hilton!

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