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We have all had a man pull the disappearing act on us before. I’m not just talking about the no call back after one date, but the guy who you’ve been dating for weeks, who suddenly fades away. It always takes us by surprise—things are going great, he seems to adore you and then he stops answering your texts. What is behind the notorious disappearing act? It could be this:

What seems like a coincidence, isn’t

“He seemed SO into me!” “We were getting really close!” “I felt like things were just starting to go somewhere…” It’s not uncommon for a woman to describe a man’s behavior this way, right before he decided to go ghost. It seems like it makes no sense—right? Things were just going great, and then he disappeared? Actually, that could be exactly why. Read on…

You had a “moment”

If you’re spending a lot of time with someone, it’s inevitable that you’ll one day have a “moment.” A moment in which you share intimate information, or share an intimate experience—something happens that undeniably makes the two of you closer. Sometimes, a man doesn’t quite know what he wants until that moment arrives. And when it does, he’ll either realize that he loves getting closer to you, or he’ll become terrified. If something happened that raised the stakes right before your guy disappeared, he may just have realized he didn’t want to get serious with you, and things got too serious.

I knew he didn’t want a girlfriend…

Some guys tell you straight up they aren’t looking for anything serious, and you’re fine with that. You don’t act needy. You don’t become territorial. You really do keep things casual and you don’t feel you overstep your boundaries at all, but one day, he disappears. You might have just been screwed over. Here’s how…

He met someone else

EVERYBODY wants a relationship! They just don’t realize it because it’s not just a relationship people want—they want to fall in love. People forget you don’t really choose when you fall in love therefore you don’t choose when you fall into a relationship. When you really fall for someone, too bad if you “wanted” a relationship or not. Falling for someone is a force you cannot control. If a man ever tells you he doesn’t “want a relationship” he may genuinely believe that but the truth is, if the right girl came around, he would want one. And you just weren’t her…If a guy like this suddenly disappeared, he could very well have fallen for someone else. Why else would a man walk away from dependable, no strings attached sex?

But we were in a relationship

Sometimes it seems you’ve totally roped a guy in—he has asked you to be his girlfriend, or even to move in together. You feel that he must genuinely have wanted commitment, because he initiated it. In no way, shape or form did you pressure him into commitment so, you feel completely thrown for a loop when he starts to fade away, right after explicitly asking to be closer. Again, this is no coincidence…

He’s no longer sampling: he bought it

For many reasons, dynamics change within a couple when a commitment is made. Sometimes, women became unreasonably demanding because they have the title of “girlfriend” and mistake it for “tyrant.” Sometimes, the woman is totally rational in her requests and the guy just didn’t realize that being a boyfriend would mean actually shaping his life and decisions around someone else. He wanted to lock down the girl, but not take on the responsibility. The reality of commitment may has become too much for the guy who fades away right after committing.

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