Tarana Burke Celebrates Epic Love With A Lagos Vow Renewal

As wedding season begins to bloom alongside spring, couples across the country are stepping into celebrations of their love. Among them are couples whose weddings were postponed, reshaped, or reimagined in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. For ‘me too.’ movement founder, activist and organizer Tarana Burke, that long-awaited moment came in December 2025, when she and her husband, Joe, renewed their vows in Lagos, Nigeria—years after their original wedding plans were put on hold.

“Love is important. Make time for love,” Burke shared with MadameNoire in an exclusive conversation, reflecting on the journey that led them there.

For Burke, whose work has centered on healing, justice, and community, carving out space for love became a deeply intentional act. Their vow renewal was the culmination of a love story more than three decades in the making.

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A Teenage Love Story That Spanned Decades

Burke and Joe’s love story began in New York City in 1990, when they were teenagers navigating life in the same neighborhood. She had seen him around before, but one morning changed everything. Cutting through a basketball court to grab her mother’s morning paper, Burke noticed him playing alone.

That quiet moment sparked something that would eventually grow into a decades-long connection. There was a lot of back and forth in those early years, as teenage relationships often go, before Burke finally gave him her number. What followed was a relationship shaped by timing, distance, and growth.

Life quickly pulled them in different directions. There was college, a first marriage for him, a daughter for her, moves for work, and the loss of a parent. Their lives unfolded separately, but the connection remained. More than three decades later, Burke says the qualities that first drew her to him still remain.

“He is still as spontaneous and playful as he was 36 year ago,” she shared. “At any moment he will break out and grab me up for a kiss like we are kids in the park.” That playfulness, she said, continues to anchor their relationship, even as life has grown more complex.

Finding Their Way Back to Each Other in 2014

After years of separate lives and personal growth, Burke and Joe reunited in 2014—this time for good. By then, they had both experienced life in meaningful ways and developed a clearer understanding of themselves and their needs. The reunion brought clarity.

“Peace and relief,” Burke said. “I knew it was him for a long time, so finally getting our acts together to make it work was a sense of peace and relief for both of us.

Soon after reconnecting, Joe spoke seriously about marriage. Still, they moved thoughtfully, building their relationship on a foundation of maturity and intention. They became officially engaged a few years later.

Burke credits an earlier chapter of their relationship—when they attempted long distance—with helping shape the marriage they would later build. They spent hours on the phone, often feeling like they existed in their own world, but Burke ultimately realized he couldn’t show up in the way she needed at the time. Choosing herself became a turning point.

“We needed that space back then,” Burke explained. “He needed to see that I prioritize myself and my heart even though I love him and I needed to see that he loved me enough to allow me space to love myself how I needed. When we finally came together it set a standard for our relationship.” That standard, she said, continues to guide their partnership today.

A Love That Made Space for Vulnerability

Another defining moment in their relationship came during a time of grief. Burke ran into Joe in Harlem while she was making funeral arrangements for her late father. Overwhelmed and navigating the emotional weight of loss, she found herself leaning into him for support. He stepped in quietly, helping her move through the city and gather what she needed. For a woman who leads global conversations and supports so many others, that moment of vulnerability left a lasting impression.

“It is something that I don’t take lightly,” Burke said. “My life can be tumultuous and having a soft place to land is invaluable. Having a partner who has known me for so long keeps me grounded. He recognizes my vulnerabilities and lets me lean into them without feeling any way about it.” That grounding, she said, remains central to their relationship.

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When the Pandemic Paused Their Wedding Plans

Like many couples, Burke and Joe had wedding plans disrupted by the COVID-19 pandemic. Their ceremony was postponed, and life continued to move forward. She shared that they paid the deposit on their venue the weekend everything went into lockdown. They would ultimately opt to purchase a home that would serve as a backdrop for their intimate exchange of vows.

Years later, Burke celebrated her 50th birthday with a large party. During the celebration, Joe made a comment that reignited the conversation.

“This could’ve been our wedding,” he told her. Whether they were attending weddings or watching ceremonies on television, he continued bringing up the idea.

Eventually, the idea began to take shape again.

A Surprise Trip That Became a Vow Renewal

The vow renewal began as something much smaller. Burke was planning a surprise trip for Joe’s birthday, which falls in December—already a meaningful time for the couple. December marks their wedding anniversary, the anniversary of their reunion, and Joe’s birthday. What started as a surprise vacation quickly snowballed. The idea of renewing their vows emerged during the planning process. Then came the decision to invite their children and family members, transforming the trip into a full celebration.

“December is a big month for us,” Burke shared. “It is our original wedding anniversary, it is the anniversary of us reuniting and it’s his birthday so this past year he had a milestone birthday, we had a milestone anniversary and as a bonus we got to celebrate Christmas with our family in another country. Not to mention 2025 marked our 35th anniversary from the time we met.”

The moment felt right. The timing felt meaningful. And the celebration became something bigger than they initially imagined.

Choosing Lagos, Nigeria, added a deeper layer of meaning to the ceremony. Both Burke and Joe had taken DNA tests that revealed strong Nigerian ancestry. Exploring Nigeria together represented both something new and something personal.

“It meant so much to both of us to be in Nigeria for our vow renewal,” Burke said. “We both traced our DNA roots to the country – his maternal and my paternal – and he had never been to the continent. We wanted to both honor our ancestry and do something really special and unique to honor our marriage. Having the ceremony in Lagos covered both of those things.”

Burke described Lagos as feeling like a homecoming. The environment, she said, was filled with Blackness in a way that felt affirming and grounding. The experience connected their love story not only to each other but also to ancestry and legacy.

The ceremony itself was filled with joy and celebration. After being told he looked Igbo, Joe embraced the connection. The couple incorporated cultural elements into the ceremony, including beautifully crafted wedding fans that quickly became one of Burke’s favorite keepsakes.

When asked what memory comes to mind when she looks at the fans, Burke responded simply. “The joy,” she said.

“Our ceremony was so joyous. There was so much revelry and fanfare! We danced and laughed and partied late into the night. We also were draped in beautiful clothing and got to really love on one another throughout the evening. It was really special.”

The fans will soon become part of a museum of love in their bedroom—a collection of meaningful items that tell the story of their relationship.

A Message for Wedding Season: Make Time for Love

As wedding season unfolds, Burke hopes younger generations take something simple but powerful from her story.

“Love is important. Make time for love.”

It’s advice that resonates beyond wedding season. Burke’s love story, shaped by decades of growth, separation, and reunion, reflects a relationship that evolved alongside life itself. Their story calls out a timeless truth: love isn’t always linear. Sometimes it takes time. Sometimes it requires patience, but when the moment comes, it’s worth celebrating. For Burke, that celebration came full circle—35 years after they first met, surrounded by family, ancestry, and joy.

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