It’s a trauma response.
Another perspective people should consider when dealing with a partner who prefers to keep their love life offline is past trauma.
“Some people have trauma histories, cultural stigmas, or safety concerns that make them cautious about posting partners,” Jenkins explained.
She revealed how survivors of toxic or abusive relationships may be hesitant to share a new partner online due to fear of judgment or online harassment.
“In communities where LGBTQ+ relationships are still stigmatized, discretion might feel necessary,” Jenkins said. “The key here is mutual communication and consent.”
Healthy boundaries are one thing, but secrecy is another.
Source: milan2099
However, Hoffman suggests considering if these actions are “protecting the relationship, or protecting yourself from being seen in it? If you’re consistently obscuring their identity or withholding context, it might be time to reflect on why.”
In that reflection, you should also consider if your partner only communicates with you during odd hours, avoids being seen in public with you, and never invites you to their home. If so, these are some signs your partner could be in a relationship.
“Also, if you never get integrated into their daily life, like meeting friends, co-workers, or family, that’s not a whole, healthy relationship,” she added.
Jenkins agrees with that sentiment and emphasizes a partner should be introduced online around the same time they meet close friends or family members.
Private until the ring? That strategy might get you played.
Source: artiemedvedev
But some couples prefer to keep their relationship private until there is a ring on their finger and while that shock value tactic has worked for some, it has backfired for others.
“One of my guests on theDates & Mates Podcast, Michelle Elman, found out when she posted her engagement photos that her fiancé was also dating one of her followers!” Hoffman unveiled.
So posting your partner on social media way before wedding bells ring might be a good idea before you say I do to someone who has a second boo.
There’s a difference between privacy and secrecy—and only you and your partner can draw that line. Social media isn’t the ultimate relationship test, but it can be a mirror reflecting what’s not being said out loud.
“If you feel hidden or erased, trust your instincts. Privacy should feel like protection, not punishment,” Hoffman said.
As the relationship expert reminds us, love doesn’t require an audience, but if you constantly feel invisible, that’s worth paying attention to. Whether your partner’s face is front and center or hidden behind an emoji, the real question is: are you being loved out loud when no one’s watching?
RELATED CONTENT: ‘Cookie Jarring’ Has Made A Comeback And This Controversial Dating Trend Isn’t Sweet
