Following a wild year of political shifts, economic uncertainty and social turbulence, the hosts of Listen to Black Women are back to discuss the thing we could all use a bit more of: Big Zen Energy.

In this episode, Jessie Woo, Taryn Finley, Chris Miss and Tiffany Nicole Ervin break down the concept of being selfish versus creating healthy boundaries, in the pursuit of that Big Zen Energy.

Each of the women agrees that as Black women, they find themselves giving more than they should, and not asking for help as much as they need. The result: total burnout. Now, they’re moving into 2023 with a focus on self-preservation and being more comfortable with saying “No.”

Listen to Black Women, Season 3, Ep. 1, Part 1

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But, saying “No” more is easier said than done. So, how are the women doing it?

Miss reminds us that sometimes, saying, “No” isn’t even selfish – it’s actually a way to model self-love for someone else. For Woo, it’s simple: “If you’re disturbing my peace, you gotta go.”

Finley brings up an important perspective: caring for yourself is how you can show up for others. “Unless we show up for ourselves first, we’re not able to be here for the people we want to be there for,” Finley so wisely puts it.

The women all agree on this: if you’re going to pour from your cup, it’s got to be overflowing. And you need to care for yourself first, if you’re going to get there.

Saying “No” can have a negative connotation, but it doesn’t have to. Recognizing the positives that come when you learn to say “No” more is a big part of the picture for these women. Hear other ways these ladies are working on finding their Big Zen Energy by listening to the full episode–and plugging in next Wednesday, Mar. 8, for part two of this zenful conversation.


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