Source: Courtesy of Lauren Lolo Spencer
In 2011, when my daughter was 2-years-old, I scoured bookshelves looking for books that represented her – Black, disabled, precocious and cute as a button. There was nothing to be found. To absolutely no one’s surprise, I wrote one because I knew that my daughter needed to see herself represented in the world. As I was attempting to traditionally publish said book I was turned away and told “the world’s not ready for this yet”.
Not ready for what?
Disabled children? Little Black girls? Both?
(Don’t answer that, we know the answer.)
It was imperative that my daughter be able to open a book, turn on the television, or even scroll social media and see that SHE EXISTS in a world that, at times, feels like it would love to do nothing more than throw her away.
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Enter Lauren “LoLo” Spencer, the sweet, sassy, hilarious and ridiculously stylish actress, model and YouTube sensation who also happens to be disabled. If the world wasn’t ready for my daughter eleven years ago, Lauren is singlehandedly getting them ready for her now. As host of her own Youtube show, “Sitting Pretty”, Lauren tackles everything from dating while disabled, to moving homes, to fashion, to ableism – there isn’t a single stone she leaves uncovered. And she does it all while being her own unique self, establishing her brand as authentic, hilarious and honest. Whether she’s a rocking platinum blonde cesar-fade or bright pink curls atop her head, she’s keeping it real with her fans, showing not only the realities of living with a disability, but also how living with a disability does not stop her from living. I had the chance to chat with this rising icon and let me just tell you – this entire interview is just GIVING.
MADAMENOIRE: So how did you get started with Sitting Pretty, and your rise in the entertainment industry?
Lauren Spencer: A few years ago, a boss I had called me into her office and gave me this energy of “if you don’t do your jobright, I’m going to have to fire you”. I went home that night, and I was really frustrated because I felt like I didn’t want anyone to ever have control of my livelihood ever again. If that woman decided to fire me that day I’d be out of a job, I’d no longer have health insurance, I wouldn’t have any income – and as a person with a disability, finding employment with a good paying job, a job that respects your presence is incredibly, incredibly, incredibly hard to come by. So, for me, I decided that I couldn’t let this happen again. So, what can I do on my own to create a lifestyle of my own? I have a degree in TV production, with an emphasis in video editing, so I decided to do a YouTube channel. This was right in my wheelhouse – no pun intended! And I decided to call it Sitting Pretty because I wanted to be focused on my reality living with a disability – but not always the tougher challenging times but also the fun time – because life can be lived! You can be drunk and have fun at a party. You can hang out with friends, you can shop here, do this, do that. And so that’s what my content was focused on.
So, you started with a YouTube channel, but now you’re in movies (winning critical acclaim at Sundance for your role in Give Me Liberty), you have a recurring role as Jocelyn on the HBOMax hit show The Sex Lives of College Girls – how did you do it? How did you go from “I could get fired” to “Oh don’t mind me, I just have a show on HBOMax and roll down red carpets”’? Because honey, the only person our generation has seen level up *like this* is Beyonce.
So, you’re asking me how did I become Beyonce?
Essentially.
My spiritual mentor and the greatest artists who ever crossed my life, who changed my life in many ways. Nipsey Hussle said, ‘The only difference is I didn’t quit’. I just never stopped. I guess there’s just something inside of me that always knew how to pivot when there was a challenge. I’m a solution-based person, so when I come across a challenge, I don’t think‘damn, this is hard. All right. Well, let me just like, stop until it doesn’t become hard’. No. I’m more like ‘Oh, this is a challenge? We’ll figure something out. I got it. Duct tape. Super Glue. And toothpicks. Bam!’ I also allowed myself to pivot towards things that I had never tried before, because when I did give me liberty that was my first acting job ever in life. I wasn’ttrying to be an actor. It wasn’t like I was taking wild acting classes – I only started taking a little bit of classes when I knew we were about to start filming Give Me Liberty. I just was like, “what’s the mission?” The mission is disability representation and inclusion. This isn’t compromising my moral compass; it is something that is going to help push that message, then let me strap in and figure this out. Try it see what’s gonnahappen for me. And lastly, having an understanding that what’s going to be for me is for me. I don’t have to do something just because it’s offered to me. If I don’t want to do something, I don’t do it.
What is the best advice you’ve ever gotten? And what is the best advice you think you could give to someone?
My mom always tells me, especially when things are starting to feel overwhelming, she always says God is in control. And I always just have to remember that because I’m a person that likes to control things. I just have to remember that my God,as God, is always in control. My best friend also reminds me that everything that’s being done *to* us is for our greater good. As far as advice to others. I feel like I’m always doling out some sort of advice, but a quote that I always use (especially with reference to disability), your disability is an honor, not a burden. God never puts more on you than you can bear. Right? So, if God has granted you a life that is more unique than others, or has its own set of challenges, that just means he knows you can handle it. And for those who don’t have their life that way, that means they couldn’t handle it. So be honored that God gave you something that most of the world wouldn’t be able to handle. I truly feel like because this (my work) is my purpose. I had to become a disabled person.
Love that perspective, Lauren! What are your thoughts are on the current state of inclusion in the entertainment industry – from a disability perspective?
I think progress is being made. It’s slow, but it’s happening. I give grace to people because everyone is trying to learn and understand in the best way that they know how, especially given that disability is never discussed in schools. So, people are literally, for the very first time, as adults, learning about disability in a way that they’ve never learned or understood it to be before. It’s a slow train, but anything worth having doesn’t happen overnight. I just think that the more that we push for the inclusion and the representation, and the more outlets and platforms that we get an opportunity to really talk about these things, or share what our lifestyles look like, the better. However, the fine line that the industry has to be mindful of is to make sure that when they are choosing to represent and include disability, that it’s for the sake of genuinely trying to change the narrative, versus checking off your inclusion box so you don’t get canceled.
Facts on facts, Lauren. Ok – tell us please, according to you, what is your crowning achievement thus far?
I would probably say being very clear on what my purpose is. Knowing that is enough, you know? All the other stuff that’s come with it, Spirit Award nominations, Cannes, Sundance, HBO, large following on social media – all of that is dope. But it’s all a residual effect of the clarity of my purpose.
Ok Lauren. We see you, boo. And we can’t wait to see where your clarity of purpose takes you next.
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