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Dear Ashley

I know size is a whole thing with us guys more than it is to most women. Some ladies have preferences and good for them cuz ya know–so, do I. And I know ya really do have to know what you are doing regardless of size, which is why I’ve done my homework on better oral and positions and well, ya know, how to please the clit and g-spot.

Here’s my issue. I am a grower. I don’t even have a small dick. Its over 7 inches and damn near 7.5 inches when I am hard which I’m glad for — trust me. But I get this crippling anxiety about my soft dick. Like it’s not impressive on soft, at all. So, I get all kinds of fear around intimacy, like I’ve always struggled to initiate. I’m terrified that if I don’t get hard, the woman will think my dick is no good, especially since I’m a grower. It’s frustrating because I know how silly I’m being and it makes no real sense, but I can’t seem to get past it. Even if women have told me my dick feels good and is big, I go right back to anxiety about it being small soft. I will almost immediately put my boxers on so as not to show my limp dick. Is this in any way common? And is there a way to get over this anxiety?


Mr. Grower


Dear Mr. Grower,

Sir, you had me at 7 inches hard. Do you know how rare that is?  Do you know how many men are not 7 inches hard, soft or between. The average penis size in America is somewhere around 5 to 5.5 inches and here you are worried about your 7” hard penis. Why are you writing to me, sir?  You’re playing, aren’t you?

If you wanted all my readers to know that you have a 7 inch dick then just say that. We don’t have to play games. There is no reason to be anxious. You are good. Trust me!  And furthermore not only are you above average in size, but you also know how to perform oral and are skilled in sex positions. Again sir, I ask, why are we here?

If a woman at our big ages doesn’t understand that some men are growers and uses this as an excuse to not have sex with you she just didn’t want to have sex. It had nothing to do with your grower. Most people understand that the harder the penis the bigger it grows. If you meet someone that has trouble grasping this concept you need to bid them a good day because they’re childish. You’re definitely overthinking this. So walk in pride, 7 inch King!

Ashley Cobb, is the millennial microphone that brings the conversation of Black women’s pleasure to the forefront. Creator of digital platform Sex With Ashley, her work and words have been featured in Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Shape Magazine, Business Insider and Huffington Post. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter via @sexwithashley

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