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Dear Ashley, a weekly sex column in which Sex Expert Ashley Cobb answers your most intimate questions. Nothing is off-limits!  Have a sex question, Ashley, “Your Favorite Friend In Filth,C” has an answer. For questions on sex, email Ashley at


Dear Ashley,

Where I live, COVID-19 cases are rising again. Before the pandemic, I’d casually hook up with people through Tinder and other dating apps. Since the coronavirus hit, I am too nervous to meet random folks. I have a chronic illness and can’t afford to get sick. I am trying to figure out if it’s possible to have COVID-safe sex. Do I get tested often and require the same from my partner? Does having sex and wearing masks seem odd? I got the vaccine and all, but that delta variant seems to affect vaccinated people too.  Any advice would help, because abstinence isn’t a viable option anymore.



Over It



This is a very good question, one that I’m sure a lot of people are thinking. The pandemic is a whole cock blocker. Many of us are abstinent by force, and not choice because like you we are afraid to buss it open for someone who might put us at risk of contracting a potentially deadly virus. The good news is you don’t have to be abstinent anymore unless you want to. Dating sites like OkCupid, Tinder and Hinge, now allow you to swipe right on people who are vaccinated like yourself. Now this doesn’t eliminate all health risk, but it certainly decreases them. I would think if someone is considerate enough to disclose their vaccination status on a dating app, they’d also value others who are COVID conscious. 



So, my advice is to hop on those dating sites I mentioned, find someone who is COVID conscious, share your concerns and date away. Getting weekly covid testing as a couple is a good idea, especially since you have a chronic illness. If you find out later on that you’re not ready for in-person sex, you can explore other options such as virtual or phone sex or app-controlled sex toys.  You can have sex as a couple without being in the same physical space. And yes, having sex with a mask is odd.

Ashley Cobb is the millennial microphone that brings the conversation of Black women’s pleasure to the forefront. Creator of digital platform Sex With Ashley, her work and words have been featured in Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Shape Magazine, Business Insider, and Huffington Post. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter via @sexwithashley

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