It can be difficult to imagine this, but long before algorithms in dating apps matched your profile with another user based on a hundred mysterious figures, numbers, and data, there were human matchmakers–some professional, some not. Some were just your friends or meddling family members who kept inviting you over for a “friendly” dinner, only to reveal there was someone there they wanted you to meet. But ultimately, that’s all any dating app or site is: it’s a robot matchmaker. And, sure, algorithms are nifty. Sometimes they even work. Stanford University reports that matchmaking is one of the biggest jobs online algorithms do these days. So nobody is doubting their legitimacy. However, an online algorithm will never be able to detect that certain je ne sais quoi that a human can.
If you dabble in or even frequently engage in the art of matchmaking, National Matchmaker Day is celebrating you. You’re one of the special few who are brave enough to try to make love happen. You care enough about the people in your life to want them to find love. And, because you’re no robot, you can pick up on those certain special qualities an algorithm never will. That doesn’t mean you’re methods are flawless though. A robot has one leg up humans don’t: it can stay out of the drama. Nobody calls an algorithm to yell at it when their date is a major fail. But you, human matchmaker, can get the blame when your matches don’t pan out. So, if you’d like to avoid that, here are the dos and don’ts of setting up friends.
Don’t cause cross-sectional drama
Remember that news gets around and if anybody is upset with this match, you could be the one stuck with the angry phone calls. And that means anybody. So, for example, maybe don’t set one friend up with a guy when you know a different friend is madly in love with that man. Can you gently, subtly get the two in the same place? Sure. But if the friend who is in love with the guy (who you know is all wrong for him) ever finds out you made that match happen, she may never forgive you. Don’t set one friend up with another friend’s ex, either. These are just some examples of cross-sectional drama. You’ll need to think for a minute if this match could anger anyone else in the friend circle.