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Even if you had an eventful week, I’m willing to bet it wasn’t nearly as momentous as Derrick Jaxn’s—real-life tragedies notwithstanding, of course. It all started when the self-proclaimed relationship expert was called out for having cheated on his wife. The masses went crazy and every man who had ever felt personally victimized by Jaxn had a field day. After all, this is the same person who had been an adamant advocate against unfaithful and unaccountable f-ckboys and had even taken it upon himself to call out fellow cheater and preacher, Pastor John Gray, for stepping out on his wife in the past.

No matter which way you slice it, the internet was going to go ballistic because Jaxn was caught being a hypocrite, far from practicing everything he preaches. The whole thing would’ve left the news cycle in 24 hours, but then he and his wife, Da’Naia Jackson, decided to post a video addressing the scandal. It was, by my estimation, supposed to be a homemade Red Table Talk “I was in an entanglement but we’re good now” moment, but it only resulted in further internet fodder. This time though, his wife was caught in the crossfire, with people talking about her outfit, her sense of fashion in general, and what seemed to be her very passive nature.

Again, it would’ve all blown over had they just said their piece and kept it pushing. With his wife now caught in the mix, they followed up with a Facebook Live to address the first video and clear up some misconceptions, which was fair enough. People had begun theorizing that maybe she was a battered woman and was forced into doing the video, and I can see why they’d want to straighten that out.

The problem is it didn’t stop there. They went on to dole out some very bizarre reactionary footage that was supposed to appease the backlash but only exacerbated the situation. She took to the ‘Gram and called her infamous bonnet a “helmet of salvation” and he took to Facebook and reviewed their video while referring to himself in third person…the entire time. It was strange, to say the least.

What’s fascinating about this entire saga is that it unfolds like a romantic-era novel—a guy’s career is destroyed by the very platform that created it. Mary Shelley herself couldn’t write it better. However, my primary concern is Mrs. Jackson, who, up until now, seems to have kept a low profile but was then dragged and equally persecuted for a crime she didn’t commit. It was unsettling to watch a seemingly laidback, soft-spoken person wrestle with the unwavering abyss of chaos that is social media when it’s really her husband who was supposed to catch all the heat.

Nonetheless, can we all agree that whatever the Jacksons’ (Jaxn’s?) intentions were, the resolution was not going to be found on the internet? There was no video that either one of them could’ve put out that would have made the situation any better. Jaxn made an entire career out of calling out people for the same sin he committed and if there’s one thing the internet loves, it’s an Instagram celebrity eating crow. Mrs. Jackson is a grown woman and there is nothing he could have done to stop her from posting her videos if that’s what she really wanted to do. However, it should have been his battle to fight since he’s the reason she was in that position to begin with. Instead of giving us seven—almost eight—minutes of self-adulation, basically congratulating himself on the great job he had done at apologizing, he could have taken a stand for his wife and tried to ward off the people who were coming for her. Maybe it wouldn’t have helped matters much, but at least he would have defended his wife’s honor like a husband should. His best attempt was to simply say in an InstaStory, “Slander me. Not her.”

The internet is a finicky place. The self-proclaimed relationship guru would know, and instead of chasing the unified approval it seems they were pursuing, both of them would have been better off switching off their devices and focusing on their marriage during this chaotic week. Instead, they attracted more attention and created more confusion around them, and I can’t see how that could have been helpful. It all goes to show just how entrapping the internet and constant social media engagement can be. It’s hard to let it go. For someone like Jaxn, who seemingly thrives on likes, comments, and validation from strangers across the world, both personally and professionally, it can be difficult to separate from the constant feedback he gets from his throngs of followers. However, his main focus shouldn’t be appeasing all of us nosy bystanders. He should be making sure he’s making this entire storm a bit more bearable for his wife of three years and the mother of his child.

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