MadameNoire Featured Video

Tasha Cobbs

Source: Marcus Ingram / Getty

It’s been a couple of months since John Gray was caught in another inappropriate relationship with another woman. This particular time, insult was added to injury because in addition to the correspondence with this woman, Gray also utilized his son in an attempt to shame his wife in front of the other woman.

After all the details came to light, Gray addressed his congregation in a sermon the following month. In it, he announced that he would be reducing his duties the church for a bit as he submitted to therapy. He told his congregation:

“I’m asking you to pray for me if you were fighting for your life, if you were fighting for your freedom, if you were fighting for wholeness…My gift will not dictate my healing. My position will not dictate my healing. Some weeks you’ll see me, others you won’t. But my prayer is that you will maintain your diligence and commitment to this church, the local church and the global church collectively.”

Since then, in September, Gray has been relatively quiet in terms of what he’s said publicly. There have been several guest preachers who’ve appeared at Relentless church in the last few months.

During this therapy time, Gray has posted about his family. Sharing an old picture with the caption: “Yeah it’s old. But they mine. #TheGrays #WatchThemBeBetterThanMe #I’llDieBeforeiQuit”

Then this past weekend, Gray shared a picture of his wife Aventer Gray with a lengthy, public apology for his indiscretions.

“I failed to uphold the holy standard of God in my marriage. And I’m sorry. Although you are the only woman I’ve ever slept with, emotional unfaithfulness is just as wrong. Sin is sin. People want to minimize one sin over another, when it all can get you sent to hell.

My marriage forced me to face both of me. Flesh versus spirit. It is every man’s battle. Loving God isn’t enough. Preaching Jesus isn’t enough. Face yourself. Get delivered. Or hurt the ones who actually love you the most.

I started intense counseling (personal and for my marriage) in the summer. Scariest thing ever. Most necessary thing ever. I had no one to blame. My life is my responsibility. Admit your wrong. God deserves better.

My wife deserves better.

The pain I caused her is immeasurable. Seeing her name in blogs because of things I did broke my soul. So since I was the cause of public embarrassment, let me be JUST AS LOUD ABOUT PUBLIC HONOR.

Aventer you are a miracle to me. I am sorry for the pain I have caused you. You name should have NEVER come up in any conversation in any negative way with anyone ever. I must do the work to earn your trust.

I’ve lived a life I’m not proud of in so many areas, but before I die, I will be the man God intended and the husband that Your heart can rest with. I’ll be the father my kids can be proud of. I’ll be the pastor Relentless can stand behind. I’m in the process and I will stay in it. May the man I am becoming match the vision God showed you. I love you.”

There over 38,000 likes on the picture currently. While the comments have been limited, people are wishing Pastor Gray and his wife well, commending him for his transparency.

But one person is noticeably absent and that’s Mrs. Gray herself.

And on her own Instagram page, John Gray has been noticeably absent since August 6, before news of his inappropriate relationship made headlines.

Obviously, I don’t know what’s happening in their marriage. And of course, social media never tells the full story–good or bad. But if I could offer my opinion, I’d say whether Aventer decides to stay and work on their marriage or ultimately leaves him, I happy to see that she’s taken a more distant approach and let him sit in the responsibility of his actions.

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN