When we like a guy, we want to show him. We want to show him that we’ve taken an interest in his life, that we care for his well being, that we pay attention to what’s happening for him. But, if you exhibit any of the following actions too soon—say when you’ve only been dating for a couple months—you might just freak him out:
Doing something nice for his friend:
He tells you that a friend is sick, you show up at that friend’s house with soup. He tells you that a friend is going through a heartbreak, you corner that friend next time you all are out, with an obnoxiously sympathetic face and say “I heard what you’re going through…” and then follow up with a little pep lecture. Your guy’s friends are just going to get annoyed at your guy for sharing so much with you so soon, and your guy will think you’re being intrusive.
You show up at his house
He’s not answering his phone so you just go over there. This is never a good move. Even if you’re worried that he has died—let him be dead. Somebody will notify you. But do not show up at his house like a territorial, suspicious, jealous, insecure girlfriend.
You’re talking to his mom
Do not Facebook friend request, email, text, or hook up on Linkedin with his mom until the relationship is serious. If he finds out you and his mom have been exchanging inspirational Ted Talks or texting each other pictures of shoes to get one another’s opinion, he’s going to think you’re trying to get a spot in his family.
“Let’s just see what happens”
If you tell a man you’re not on the pill, he is still down to not use a condom. He is fine with saying “let’s just see what happens” because men don’t like condoms! But, if you’re the one who suggests leaving the condom out of the picture and you say “let’s just see what happens” this freaks the hell out of a man. When a man says it, he doesn’t believe you’ll get pregnant. When a woman says it, men think she is hoping to get knocked up because they think that not getting knocked up is the woman’s responsibility.
You organize his home
If he has been saying for a long time “I wish I had time to clean this up” or “I wish I had time to replace that carpet” that is one thing—and you still shouldn’t take the opportunity to do those things for him until it’s serious—but never, ever, should you take the liberty of re-decorating and re-organizing a man’s home. No matter how great you think you’ve made it look, you have now taken over the one place that was his sanctuary—the one place that had his vibes all over it, and covered it in yours.
You invite all of his friends over
You invite all his friends over for dinner, or to watch football on a Sunday, or for a BBQ that you’re organizing, without consulting your guy first. Again, he will think you’re trying to sneak your way closer into his life and he knows his friends just felt obligated to say yes.
You’re just there when he gets home
You can’t just start camping out at his house. Even if it’s just down the street. Even if he gave you a spare key. He needs his space and he will get seriously annoyed if he can’t just come home a few days a week to…no one.
More on Madame Noire!
