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Female counselor wearing a mask during a session with a client

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If you’re in therapy, it is important that your therapist is a good fit for you. During my time as a therapist, I have spoken to many people who have continued to attend sessions with therapists that they weren’t comfortable with. When they couldn’t take it anymore, they just abandoned their therapy altogether, which is not recommended. There is nothing wrong with wanting to change therapists, but there is a way to go about it.

If your therapist isn’t a good fit for you or something happens that leaves your therapeutic relationship irretrievably broken, don’t ignore that. Here’s what a client should do if they are considering changing therapists.

Explore If The Relationship Can Be Repaired

Mental health concept

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If you’re not feeling like you are engaging with your therapist or no real progress is being made, talk about it. It could be a conversation that could change the course of your therapy experience. Was it something your therapist said? Did you envision the therapy would be different? Are you feeling skeptical about their interventions? Is there something you want to do in therapy that hasn’t happened? Address it. The therapist is your agent of change, so don’t be afraid to be honest and transparent regarding your feelings about your experience. This can help the therapist help you as well. For example, I had a client ask me to give her homework. I usually do this with teens, not my adults. But this is something that she wanted to incorporate into her therapeutic journey, so it was my responsibility to do so.

Have You Seen Red Flags?

Family support group

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There is a certain conduct, code of ethics and professionalism all therapists must abide by. If you feel like there is a lack of professionalism, the therapist speaks to much about themselves, isn’t culturally competent, doesn’t keep in contact with you, has a lack of boundaries, is judging you or trying to force certain opinions or beliefs on you, for example, these are definite warning signs that this therapist may not be the best fit for you, or anyone else.

Tell Your Therapist You Want to Move On

First we fall apart, then we heal

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If the relationship can’t be repaired, then it’s time to move on. I don’t recommend “ghosting” your therapist once you feel like you don’t want to talk to them anymore. Attend your session and explain to them why you would like to seek another therapist. End the relationship amicably. Express how you feel and why the therapeutic relationship either can’t be repaired or why you feel you both aren’t a good fit for each other. It may be a difficult conversation, but it is worth it.