Yesterday, Erica Campbell made headlines with her controversial comments regarding marriage, monogamy and hoe behavior.
In case you missed it, in an Instagram post, Campbell shared what appeared to be a meme she located somewhere on the internet.
“You can’t sow Hoe seeds and reap marriage benefits. Your brain and body don’t switch like that. You gotta prepare you mind for marriage because it’s ministry.”
I shared my thoughts on this yesterday—basically saying that it’s not entirely true. There is no formula to reaping marriage benefits. I was confused about who Campbell meant when she used the word “hoe” and how much sexual activity qualifies one for that label.
Furthermore, there are people who practice hoe behavior and still reap marriage benefits. Call it the grace of God or whatever you like. But our past doesn’t always dictate what we’ll have in the future. And I find it particularly discouraging when people use shame and judgement in an attempt to exclude people from life experiences or God’s blessings—if that particular marriage is a blessing in the first place. Because we’ve all seen marriages that were not.
Anyway, with all the attention she received yesterday, Campbell called in to The Morning Hustle to offer some clarification about her comments.
See what she said below.
“I said you can’t sow hoe seed and think you’re going to reap marriage benefits. And what I meant by that is monogamy must be practiced. It’s not something that happens automatically. If you’re in the practice of sleeping around, doing whatever—and I’m coming from a believer’s perspective because that’s what I am. I know there’s a benefit in being with one person. That was God’s design for our life. I know that a lot of people, dealing with broken hearts, they’ll say, ‘Fine, I don’t care. Ima do what I want.’ And you can. But the benefits of marriage are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
There’s a scripture that says flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin that a person commits, you commit outside the body. But sex is internal. It’s bringing someone into your temple. And I don’t think you should be random with it.
And if you want to be married, I think it’s something you have to train your brain. You have to practice. You have to be around people who believe in marriage, who uplift marriage. And you have bring God in it. Because before God made a church, he made a man and a woman. If there’s anything better than sex, he left it in heaven. Of course the enemy wants to manipulate to destroy families and people with it.
So if you look at it from a God perspective that’s where I was coming from. I wasn’t beating up on nobody. I promise y’all. I don’t do that.
Campbell wanted to clarify that the message could apply to men and women equally.
I know some guys who’ve gotten married and the night before they get married, they’re texting all the other girls, ‘I’m getting married tomorrow.’ That’s a little late to be telling her. That should have happened a long time ago. You have to get your mind, your heart and your sprit ready to just be with one person because it does take work.
Abstaining from sex until you get married
Yes, that’s what I’m saying. I know that’s not everybody’s practice but if I’m a believer, that’s where I’m coming from. God can create that in your heart, that clean heart where you want to share with just one person and it’s so beautiful. It’s not boring, it’s not lame. It’s actually quite explosive because you get to explore and just enjoy this one person who is committed to you forever, without comparing yourself to who’ve they been with before and ‘I’ma be better than him.’ ‘Ima be better than her.’ That’s too much work. I want to love one man and let that one man love me internally, externally, everything about me.
You can listen to the interview in full below.