Could the secret to finding a good man be in not being oh so nice to them?
Gabourey Sidibe, who stars in the new movie Antebellum, found that to be the case after vowing to be meaner to men.
She told The Daily Beast that she had grown weary, in career and everyday life, of what people thought she should and shouldn’t be doing as a woman while guys were able to operate in whatever way they please. So in her interactions with men, she decided not to care about what they wanted or expected of her. It had an unexpected outcome:
Sidibe says she’s long been frustrated about the expectations—or, rather, the limitations—placed on her because she is a woman. Why is she being given a doll as a child and being taught that her worth is wrapped up in whether or not she can take care of it? Her brother wasn’t being sent that message. Why was she being taught that men have the power and it was her job to be nice to and care for them?
About a year before she started filming Antebellum, Sidibe made a promise to herself. She was going to start being meaner to men.
“I was not going to care what they wanted from me. I was never going to offer them anything. I would not cook for men or take care of men.”
It sounds like she’s gone quiet, but it turns out she’s giggling to herself so hard she’s nearly silent. “It’s like a dumb thing I did for myself,” she says. “And then very quickly after that I had a boyfriend.”
Sidibe is in a relationship with Brandon Frankel, a marketing and branding expert she met in 2019. She told The Daily Beast they spent part of the pandemic together in Chicago, where she filmed Empire, before picking up, cat in tow, to live together in Los Angeles.
The couple went public late last year with Frankel referring to her as “my queen,” and the star making it clear that he is special to her.
“You’re my favorite Love Song. You’re the cherry on top of this last decade and the foundation of the next,” she said as they celebrated New Year’s Eve. “I’m excited for all the matching hoodies, Mickey/Minnie outfits to DisneyLand, and your favorite shirts that somehow become MY favorite shirts. My cold feet, being warmed up by your USUALLY hot skin, al dente potatoes, f–ked up rice and seasoned meat, cooked to burnt, yelling at the cats to come cuddle with us, alternating between trash reality shows and business reality shows like shark tank, competing to fall asleep first, walks in the rain, the snow, the heat, the mall, the jungle, cenotes and bat caves! We have so much to look forward to in the decades to come! You make me happier than I’ve ever been, I’m so glad we found each other and I’m gonna point and yell ‘DOG!’ for you, when I see one in public forever.”