Ask a Very Smart Brotha: Emotional Cheaters & The Mama’s Boy

Dear Very Smart Brotha,

I am a female age 30, married in the last year to a man who was raised by a single mother. Not only was he raised by a single mother who coddled him; she raised him to be a grown azz brat with a bad temper, no understanding of finances, no respect, no desire to grow up and be a man unless pushed to the edge and a lack of common sense. Although I decided to marry him anyway for the good in him (he can cook, he is supportive of my dreams and is fun), one short year later I am realizing that I married him for the potential of what he could become versus for what I seen in front of me. I take the blame and know that I married him anyway despite the above mentioned information. His temper can be outrageous, although he has never become physically violent, he has definitely come out the mouth all types of wrong and over the tops. To the point it gets embarrassing if others are around. I have no clue what to do. I feel like it may be disappointing to my family and friends but I have no desire to be with this man long term and again I fully take the blame in moving forward knowing all these things. Now I feel  trapped in embarrassment and shame but I still don’t know where to go from here. I know there are far more worse things that he can be I am still not happy knowing that the right man for me and the right woman for him is still out there. A lifetime is a long time to live in misery trying to teach a grown man trapped in a boys mind, new things. We don’t have kids together or any assets thus far.

Signed,

Why Did I Get Married, Really!

 

Dear Why Did I Get Married, Really,

I’m going to be serious with you because this letter sounds like a letter someone writes before their mate starts becoming physically abusive. He’s already emotionally abusive, and the physical abuse probably isn’t too far away. Be happy that you don’t have any children or real assets to split to complicate things, and go see a divorce lawyer as soon as you finish reading this letter. If you have second thoughts because you don’t know how to replace what your husband is bringing to the table (“he can cook, he is supportive of my dreams and is fun”), buy a cookbook, support your own dreams, and take a vacation to Disney World.

Sincerely,

Damon Young (aka The Champ)

Pittsburgh native Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) is the co-founder of the ridiculously popular VerySmartBrothas.com. Their first book “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide To Dating, Mating and Fighting Crime” is available at Amazon.com

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