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Melyssa Ford publicly shared about her mother’s death while also closing a professional chapter on Monday.

The model and co-host of Hollywood Life’s podcast, Hollywood Unlocked [Uncensored] was brought to tears as she recalled the emotions surrounding her mother’s death in May. Her mother, Oksana Barbara Raisa Ford, died on May 19 after battling colon cancer.

Ford said her mother’s death was compounded by the COVID-19 pandemic, but luckily Ford was able to be by her side during her last moments. Ford resides in Los Angeles, but her mother lived in Toronto where Ford was born and raised.

“When the person that is responsible for bringing you into this world passes away, it just—your whole outlook on life just changes you know? I like, I watched her die, so it was like this last eight months of my life, the last two years, but especially the last eight months have been a special kind of f—–g torture,” she said to Hollywood Unlocked founder Jason Lee.

Ford returned to say goodbye after taking a small break from the show, but she decided to leave for good after taking the time to reflect. Even prior to her mother’s death, Ford experienced a difficult journey after she survived a horrific car accident in 2018.

Ford got emotional after examining it was hard to see her mother deteriorate as the cancer ravaged her body.

“Cancer just reduced her to skin and bones and it was awful. But my mom is like— she died with dignity. She died on her terms you know? There’s a policy in Canada called MAID, (Medical Assistance In Dying) and I think only eight states offer this where you can choose to end your life if you’re terminal,” she continued.

 

“I’m proud, I love it, I am going to miss it, but this is–I have to investigate this development of, like this relationship with myself, where I’m finally kind to myself. Where I’m finally giving myself, you know, the permission to be human. And I just want to see where this goes. I have to see where it goes because I feel like I wasted so many years of my life being mean to myself and being cruel to myself,” she said about her departure.

Ford wrote about her mother’s journey to the difficult decision in a May op-ed for VIBE magazine. In the piece Ford described the painful process of preparing for her mother’s death, her anger over losing her mother, and how the decision to partake in a medically-assisted euthanasia gave her mother a new sense of peace.

You can watch the whole episode below.

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