First Date Conversations You Shouldn’t Be Ashamed To Have
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If you’re dating with the intention of finding a long- term partner, the first date is very similar to an interview. Women are often shamed for broaching certain heavier topics on a first date, but shouldn’t be. Essentially, you’re screening the person to see if you’re compatible enough to move forward in a meaningful way and who wants to waste time? Here are ten questions you shouldn’t be ashamed to ask on a first date.
Would you like to be married someday?
Whether you have dreams of married life or you have no desire to marry at all, it’s a good idea to find out where your date stands on the matter. You may be shocked to learn that you and your love interest want very different things out of life.
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Do you want children?
Similar to the marriage conversation, the desire to have children or lack there of can be a dealbreaker for many relationships. For this reason, it’s a good idea to find out how a love interest feels about children early since it’s one of those things people typically aren’t willing to compromise on. While you’re at it, ask if they have any kids you should know about.
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Does anyone think they’re in a relationship with you?
When you agree to go on a date with someone, you generally assume that they’re single. Still, it’s a good idea to explicitly ask your date about their relationship status. That way, you can make a clean break if the answer sounds fishy or overly complicated. Further, you should ask if there’s anyone who might be under the impression that they’re in a relationship with him or her.
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What are your thoughts on gender roles?
Depending on how strongly you feel about it, if you’re dating someone who identifies as male, you may want to gain an understanding of their views on gender roles. You probably don’t want to waste your time on someone who has a rigid and archaic way of thinking.
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Have you ever been married before?
Seriously dating a divorcée can be a completely different experience from dating a person who has never been married before. This is not to say that you should write off all divorcées, but it’s a good idea to get a feel for the situation you’re about to walk into.
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Do you live alone?
You’d be surprised how a question that simply probes living arrangements can unearth quite a bit about a person. Of course, this question shouldn’t be asked with the intention of shaming your date, but simply to gain an understanding of the situation that you’re potentially walking into. Beware of the “I live with my ex but we’re not together” stories. Those almost never end well.
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What’s your employment situation?
It may seem shallow to some, but it’s not exactly desirable to date a person who can never seem to hold down a job. It’s possible for anyone to fall on hard times. Temporary unemployment is one thing, but chronic unemployment is something you may want to pay close attention to.
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What are your religious beliefs?
Similar the marriage and kids conversations, it can’t hurt to find out about a love interest’s religious beliefs early. Some people are able to successfully date and even marry someone of a different religion. For others, it can be a serious dealbreaker. If you happen to fall into the latter category, it’s better to know what you’re dealing with early.
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What are your political views?
Political incompatibility can cause a significant amount of tension in relationships and it can definitely be considered a dealbreaker for some. While it’s probably not necessary to delve too deeply, it can’t hurt to gain a surface-level understand of your date’s political views.
