Why This Pandemic Is Causing An Early Midlife Crisis - Page 14

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I’m in my thirties, and I live in a big city. What that means is that I’m not subjected to much of the pressure to have already been married and had kids for five years at this point. I’m considered young here. I’m practically still a kid! Nobody expects you to have accomplished anything in your twenties in a big city. That’s the time to make mistakes, get and lose several jobs while still figuring out what you want to do, sleep with the wrong people, long-term date a few of the wrong people, be broke and laugh about it, have several roommates – the twenties are just extended college years for those of us in big cities, really. And yet, this pandemic has me suddenly feeling…old. Not quite old but…age. I’m feeling that age is real. Which is something you just don’t acknowledge in big cities where 57-year-old men go clubbing and have 32-year-old girlfriends. Life was fun, light, and playful before this. The way childhood feels. But this pandemic has brought this weight down upon me, and I’m having all sorts of odd thoughts and feelings that, honestly, aren’t that far from what a midlife crisis can be like – so I’ve heard. And from talking to my peers, I’m learning that I’m not the only one feeling this way. Here are reasons the COVID-19 pandemic may cause an early midlife crisis for some.

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My industry is a thing of the past

For many of us, it feels that our industries are now a thing of the past. The industries that were booming – the ones in which we were hustling and thriving – just evaporated when this virus stormed the world. Suddenly, we are experts and professionals in outdated lines of work. The very buildings in which we worked are changing into something else.

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What did I even accomplish?

And with our industries evaporating, a very common fear/thought of a mid-life crisis occurs: what have I even accomplished? How much did I even get done before my chances of gaining notoriety in that field went away forever? Did I even leave my mark? What was all my life’s work for?

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My dating around years are over

Now, bed-hopping, meeting strangers you just spoke to once online, and things like that have become…dangerous. I mean, you risk catching COVID-19 every time you do something like that. So, very much like those around the age of the mid-life crisis, some of us younger individuals are realizing that fun, buzzing, quirky phase of dating-around is over.

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Life can be taken in an instant

There is this new fixation with the fact that life can be taken in an instant. Just like that. Poof. We watch the news and we see how many individuals lost their lives to COVID-19. Individuals who just weeks or months ago had dreams and hopes and plans, just like us. They had their health, too.

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Obsession with retirement savings

It’s around that mid-life point that many people start to obsess over their retirement savings. They don’t want to work forever. They realize things could change in an instant. They need to make sure they have money to live on for a while, if they no longer work. Hmmm. Sounds a lot like what many of us are currently experiencing after the coronavirus economic downfall.

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Wanting to show off my youth

I feel like I want to show off my youth and am losing the chance! I want to do my hair and makeup. I want to put on clothes that flatter my body. I want to show off my body, which is still not so bad, if I do say so myself. But…it’s inappropriate to do so right now. People are outside in masks afraid for their lives. I feel my chances of showing off my youth slipping away.

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Feeling behind on technology

Not unlike those in their fifties and beyond, I feel like there is all of this new technology that I am supposed to know to move on, that those in their twenties are picking up quickly, and that is really confusing and intimidating. That’s just how it is now that industries are changing how they conduct business.

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Not understanding emerging industries

There are new industries emerging as a response to the pandemic. People are living and spending money differently, and some innovators are responding to that. And very much the way my parents felt at one point in their careers, I look around and feel that I don’t understand these new industries at all.

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Buying weird stuff to compensate

Maybe it’s not sports cars and ultra-tight dresses, but I’m buying stuff to try to help me stay energized and feel playful. Miniature trampolines. Colorful clothing. Tons of niche books. I’m going through that phase of trying to buy myself some happiness or distraction from the passing of time.

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Watching myself physically age

I’m literally watching myself look older every day. Something about not keeping up with hair salon visits, not wearing makeup, and living in sweatpants makes me look ten years older than I am. I’m realizing how much of my usual beauty routine was a part of keeping me looking young.

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The sex life of a 65-year-old

“Do we have to?” “I’m too tired” “I have indigestion” “I want to watch the news instead.” These are just some of the things my partner and I say to each other when somebody brings up sex. Then we panic, realizing we’re acting much older than we are.

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Feeling a bit worthless

I have these thoughts of, “Well, what am I contributing to the world? I’m just a lump of coal basically. I’m just sitting here, eating up resources. I’m not helping move things forward.” That’s what the pandemic quarantine has caused me to feel, and what many in their mid-life crisis years often feel.

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Feeling restless

There was so much I wanted to do! I wanted to travel! I wanted to attend that music festival! I wanted to eat at that restaurant! I wanted to visit that national landmark! I wanted to audition for that reality TV show! There are these fears that I should have tried all these things when I had the chance – before the world shut down.

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A critical assessment of friendships

I’m assessing and judging my friendships. Who is worth my time? Is anybody? Who is bringing me down? There is some friendship spring cleaning going on, which is something many people do about halfway through their lives.