In a study created by the online dating site, eHarmony, it was revealed that men and women agree on many of the “must haves” in a relationship. They want a sense of humor, someone who is affectionate and kind, chemistry, good communication and loyalty. Not surprisingly, both sexes want someone who is emotionally healthy, and who is honest and has strong character. On the flip side, men and women were mostly in agreement about what they can’t stand in a relationship, although there were differences in how they ranked various behaviors. Both men and women posted similar concerns about lying, cheating, rude behavior and drug use. Check out these 9 deal breakers from the woman’s perspective and take a close look at your current relationship- are you living with a potential dead end?
1. He’s more interested in his gadgets
If his eyes are on the TV/Computer/Phone more than they are one you, you have a problem. Although technology is constantly changing and yes, most gadgets are pretty impressive, nothing should replace real, face-to-face interaction and affection. Women want a man to notice when she walks in the room and acknowledge her in an affectionate way. When a man can’t even look up for his game of Madden, or current battle on halo, it’s time to call a baby sitter and take a hike. Games are fun, yes, but aren’t you more fun?
2. Wandering eye
Most men notice other women, but if your man gets whiplash from watching pretty girls stroll by, then either he needs a lesson in subtlety or it’s time for you to re-think the relationship. After all, if he’s at the table with you, aren’t you supposed to have his attention? It’s a definite deal breaker if a woman feels insecure or not good enough around her man. Relationships should lift you up, not put you down.
3. Tries too hard
Personality is a huge part of finding a connection with a man. Often times men try to impress women with their ability to recite every word from their favorite, current blockbuster and show off their “come back” skills. Sure, that can be cute for a little while, but if every simple questions is met with, “That’s what she said!” or “Stay classy, San Diego!”, than chances are he can’t think of anything thoughtful to say. Could you imagine a relationship with a guy whose entire vocabulary if filled with comebacks? “Hey honey my mom wants to know if we want to come over for Christmas dinner this year, what do you think?”…”That’s what she said!” Yuck, move on.
4. Infidelity
In the same eHarmony study listed earlier, infidelity was the fourth most common “can’t stand” for women and the sixth most common response for men. Whether it happened in his previous relationship or 5 years ago, it’s an immediate red flag if cheating is in his past. One of the biggest fears about jumping into a relationship in the first place is the possibility of infidelity and heart break, especially for women. If he has a speckled past in this department, most women walk away before their heart is added to the list.
5. Brags too much
It’s great to be financially stable and even wealthy, but money is not everything. A healthy relationship is built on love, compassion, respect and honesty, not a stack of bills. It’s great to find a man who is passionate about providing and is successful, but if more than 50% of your conversation is about his bank account, new car, latest lavish vacation, or real estate endeavors, then chances are he’s more interested in those things, than you. It’s great to have “things” in life, but what happens if his investments go south and the real estate market makes him loose thousands on his newest home? Most women will not stand for bragging and definitely consider this a deal breaker.
6. Obsesses over his ex
There’s nothing wrong with discussing past relationships after two or three dates. But if he launches into a monologue about his recent devastating break-up two minutes after you meet, or drops his former lover’s name into every other sentence (“Wow! Laura liked pasta, too…”), chances are he’s not ready for a new girlfriend yet. Why waste your time with him when you could be out with a man who actually wants to be with you?
7. Rudeness
This is very different from a sarcastic personality and if often embarrassing and therefore a big deal breaker for most women. Sure, if your food comes out cold and you ask to speak with a manager, that’s just being proactive and speaking up, great. But speaking down to the waitress or getting to angry over small situations are not qualities most women look for in a boyfriend or spouse. You have to imagine that this same rude behavior will, if it hasn’t already, filter into your relationship and how your man treats you. Don’t stand for a rude guy; there are many sweet and respectful fish in the sea.
8. Drugs
If you are dating someone with a substance dependency, you already know the dangers and problems that creep into your relationship. Not only do drugs alter your chemical balance and can often change a person completely, they are also illegal! Why would you want to spend time with a man who is breaking the law for selfish reasons? Drugs can often be placed too high on a user’s priority list and therefore money is sucked into the addiction. Typically people with a dependency of drugs are not motivated individuals and tend to think less of providing for you, and potentially a family, and more about when is the next time they can get high.
