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My boyfriend and I haven’t had sex since…I want to say sometime in the first few days of March. We certainly haven’t done it since understanding the gravity of the COVID-19 situation. I think I remember the last night we had scheduled sex—and, yes, we schedule, we’ve been together a long time—we went to the grocery store and were astounded by how many people were there, hoarding supplies. The employees were wearing masks and gloves. A woman pulled up to us in the parking lot and asked, “Is there any food left inside?” We had just gone to get a few ingredients for our favorite pasta dish. We were going to have a quiet and romantic night at home (aka smash). But after leaving the eerie scene at the market, nobody was in the mood. In fact, after thinking it over, we packed our bags and left for my partner’s family’s home in another state, where there are fewer people. At 10pm, instead of having sex (as planned), we were driving down a dark highway with a car full of food, our dog, and a lot of nervous energy.


So that was it. We said goodbye to sex about a month ago, for now. Even though I know there are health benefits of having an orgasm, and we can all use all the health boosts we can get right now, we really just haven’t been in the mood. I see memes and social media posts about all the sex people are having during quarantine because there is, “Nothing else to do.” But I can’t even fathom it right now. For me, sex is something I do during good times. And I don’t think anyone would describe the world as experiencing good times right now. Here is why it feels wrong to have sex during the COVID-19 outbreak.


It’s aggressive germ swapping

When the concept of social distancing so thickly surrounds us—it’s all I can think about—and I’m being extra conscious of not using my partner’s towel and making sure I wash my hands before cooking him anything, having sex seems backwards. That’s the most aggressive germ swapping of all! The reality is, I need to pick a lane: we should either go for it, have sex and all, or not touch each other until this is over. We’ve been in the middle, cuddling and kissing. So it’s kind of pointless.

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