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I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older and time is becoming more of a reality, or because people have just disrespected my time so much, but I’ve become more and more selfish about my time recently. It pains me to see people who let others dominate their time. I have one very sweet friend who I often try to encourage to be more selfish of his time, because he gets caught up in the most frustrating of situations. For example, one weekend he told me that he was going to take all of Sunday to read and relax on the beach. When I asked him on Monday how his Sunday went, he said, “Well, I didn’t make it to the beach. My roommate asked me to help him build his bed. And then he wanted me to go with him to pick out sheets. Then he got in a fight with his girlfriend and asked if I could have dinner with him because he was stressed out.” Nooooooo! Ugh. I hated that.
I try so often to tell him that it’s okay to tell someone, “I can’t do this today.” “Well it’s not like I had somewhere else I really needed to be…” my friend argued. But he did. He had planned a much-needed relaxing day for himself before his insanely stressful work-week began.
I understand that, in order to have good relationships in your life, sometimes you do need to make sacrifices with your time. But some people always make sacrifices with their time. It’s okay to set some boundaries. It’s alright to create a firm wall around certain hours and say, “This is what I’m doing during that time. Nothing else. If people need me, they can wait.” Here are ways it’s okay to be selfish with your time.
Saying, “No, I need to sleep in”
I need to get some extra sleep on the weekends. I just have to. It’s a part of my physical and emotional wellbeing. So when someone tells me their birthday party will kick off with a 9:30 am hike followed by lunch followed by drinks, I immediately say, “I’ll meet you all for the lunch portion.” It’s not my problem that individual doesn’t value weekend sleep.
