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In her 2017 memoir, We’re Going To Need More Wine, actress Gabrielle Union shared that she suffered “eight or nine” miscarriages in her marriage to Dwyane Wade, opening up a deeply private conversation regarding Black women and fertility.
Union, 47, along with her former NBA superstar husband never gave up and for that they were blessed with a beautiful baby girl named Kaavia James Wade who they birthed via surrogate in November 2018.
For his part, Dwyane Wade, 38, had mostly kept quiet regarding their fertility journey, but the Miami Heat legend opened up about his fears during that turbulent time in his recent ESPN documentary, D. Wade: Life Unexpected.
“I’m watching my wife go through a lot physically,” Dwyane shared. “You’re sitting in with the doctors, and they’re like, ‘You can do this and that, but the risk of you surviving.’ — It became a point where I was like, ‘Oh wait, now I might lose you in this process.’”
Although the couple had failed to conceive naturally, it came to a point where the methods they pursued could begin to have a negative affect on Gabrielle’s health. The couple was forced to step out of their comfort zones and re-imagine the possibilities of parenthood.
“There’s not only one way to have your family,” he continued. “We started having conversations and we were like, ‘What are the other options — and the other became surrogacy,’”
“When Dwyane and I started trying, we were so excited,” Gabrielle said. “So there were a ton of pregnancies and positive test results, and then poof. Usually around the 6-8 week mark — gone. Obviously, I knew it was not him and it literally just stayed like that for years. I just almost started expecting defeat.”
Gabrielle expounded upon how she let go of her attachment to birthing her child in the traditional way.
“My immediate thing was, even if I go through with a surrogate was, I don’t get to be a ‘real mom,’” said using air quotes. “It just took a long time to just be like, ‘Let’s go for it, let’s try.’”
Dwyane’s transparency about their fertility journey is just one of the emotional topics he tackles in the film, including his difficult upbringing, fatherhood, infidelity and how he and Gabrielle became more compassionate and educated after Dwayne’s 12-year-old daughter Zaya came forward as transgender.
