Reader K. asks:
As we all know, men love the ‘girl on top’ position. But it hurts me and I feel like I’m not effectively pleasing my man! Help please! Any suggestions and/or advice?
Do not suffer in silence, girlie! There is ‘hurts so good’ pain and then there’s ‘no, really, this HURTS’ pain and it sounds like you are dealing with the latter. Your man’s size is a factor here: if he’s really large, you should try gently lowering yourself on to him inch-by-inch (which should be pleasurable for you both) and be sure to avoid just hopping up on it too quickly. If he’s on the smaller to average size, try putting a pillow underneath his bottom so you can get better penetration, while still being careful not to cause yourself any pain.
I’m assuming the pain is in your lady parts; if it’s in your back or your legs, you need to do some pre-sex stretching! Lovemaking is a workout and if your body isn’t ready, you can pull a muscle, get a nasty cramp or worse. Also, ask that man to give you a good full body massage. Let him ease your tension before you get started on his!
As far as him not enjoying it, when in doubt…ask! Some variation “You like this, baby?” is not only appropriate, but Hot! He also may sense your discomfort and could be reacting to that. The more you enjoy it, the more he will. The look on your face, the way your body moves…he’s going to respond to those things. And if he’s considerate about your pleasure as he should be, then girl on top won’t really rock his socks until it starts working for you. Ask him what he wants you to do, how he’d like you to move. Be keenly aware of what feels good to you when you’re riding and try to find a way to combine your fave grooves with his.
Keep trying new rhythms. Do a little in-front-of the mirror hip rolling and winding throughout the day thinking about moving your body when you’re on top. Work on making the visual Hot: your facial expressions, you running your hands though your hair and grabbing your breasts. Grab his chest, his thighs, his ankles…try new stuff! Practice makes perfect, doll!
Sincerely,
SisterToldja
“Girl On Top” is a weekly sex column on Madame Noire. Stay tuned for more topics, comment or write us at editors@madamenoire.com if you have suggestions!
