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According to DatingAdvice.com, 49 million people have tried online dating.

That’s a ton of people, and in age where finding our soulmate is no small feat, online dating has become a viable option for connecting with someone.

As with all things in life, there are pros and cons to dating online. You get access to hundreds of people, you can ‘date’ from home and on your phone, and everyone is single. On the other hand, it can be time consuming and overwhelming. You could attract unsavory candidates, or experience rejection when trying to connect with someone. It’s definitely a numbers game!

I interviewed two women from different parts of the country on their experiences online dating.

Name: Asia Johnson

Current City: New York, NY

Age: 29

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IG: @asia_thegirl

What made you decide to try online dating? 

I decided to try online dating because I noticed I wasn’t meeting men that were interested in entering a relationship when I would go out with friends on the weekends. Admittedly I was a super apprehensive about it. I didn’t try online dating for a very long dating because I was super nervous about the idea of a blind date with a complete stranger.

How long have you been dating online?

I’ve been online dating seriously for about a year and a half. 

What has been your online site of choice (Hinge, Bumble, etc)
I switch between Tinder and Bumble. 
 
What has your experience been like so far online dating? Pros? Cons?
Pros – You’re exposed to people that you might not ever talk to in real life and it’s allowed me to expand the diversity of men that I choose to date. I’ve gone out with men from a variety of ethnicities and countries because of dating apps. I don’t think I would meet an international bae at the bar. I think they’ve also helped foster conversations about fetishism and sexual preferences. I’m constantly learning about new acronyms and the diversity of sexual preferences that people have. It’s been an illuminating experience.
 
Cons – The apps have gamified dating. They make it very easy for users to make superficial decisions without considering their emotional impact. I think women and men need to be cognizant of the fact that dating apps can easily create a false sense of intimacy. 
 
What suggestions do you have for those considering dating online?
Don’t allow rejection on a dating app take away from your self worth and self esteem. Dating apps can be an emotionally taxing space for women of color. It’s important to realize that the amount of matches you have do not equate to your value. I suggest having a close circle of friends that you can share your experiences with. They will help laugh through it all.
Name: Kashonda Davis
Current City: Oakland, CA
Age: 35
IG: @ka_shon_duhhh
What made you decide to try online dating? 
I think as we get grow into our professional lives, meeting people organically becomes challenging due to time constraints. Online dating seemed like a platform to expand dating pools and access.
How long have you been dating online?
Roughly one year.
What has been your online site of choice (Hinge, Bumble, etc)?
Hinge
What has your experience been like so far online dating? Pros? Cons?
Pros: Online dating applications have done well at simulating a real world experience of presenting a diverse group of people to potentially date. In addition, it has been my experience that initial attraction is often heightened because we have access to individuals photos and descriptions of their character.
Cons: I think a prime disadvantage of online dating is how it has acted as a vehicle for “ghosting”. The accessibility to a broad dating pool of individuals you have no connection to reinforces people’s belief that they can disappear without any consequence. Unfortunately, it fosters a culture of not exchanging dialogue, lack of accountability, and lack of vulnerability.
What suggestions do you have for those considering dating online?

Be flexible with your expectations. Disappointment in many ways often a normative experience when using online applications to facilitate dating. However, frame each experience as an opportunity to learn about yourself and someone else.

 

Dating online is game of luck. We all know at least one person who has found love on the internet. If you’re open to it,there’s always a chance that the love of your life is one swipe away.

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