Here’s Why You Can’t Use A First Date To Predict Relationship Longevity

October 4, 2019  |  

Happy black couple having red wine on the balcony of their new condominium in Toronto.

Source: vitapix / Getty

After swiping on dating apps for months, being stuck in DM hell, or trying week after week to meet someone in the wild, finally securing a first date can feel like bliss. And then, if that first date is good–you will feel like you hit the single girl’s lottery.

Since modern dating is pretty much a dumpster fire (and that’s being kind), having a first date at all is rare and a good date on top of that is one in a million. So it’s crazy, but still human of you to start picking out wedding dresses post-successful first date. But you still have to manage your emotions in the excitement. Dating is for collecting data. It’s for learning and deciding if you and your potential boo have enough personality and lifestyle compatibility to do life together.

While it’s tempting to start fantasizing about forever after a first date, it’s best to proceed with caution so your expectations don’t go crashing to the ground.

“How many times have you heard a friend excitedly talk about the amazing chemistry, connection, and shared goals they experienced their date?” NYC-based relationship expert Susan Winter told Elite Daily.

“Their hopes and dreams come alive under the belief that they’ve found their perfect match. Then, it all evaporates.”

Yes, the chemistry may be bomb, but it’s going to take a lot more information to determine if you all can go the distance.

“It takes time to show one’s true colors and while you might be walking away from a first date thinking that you found your future wife or husband, you have to be patient,” Maria Sullivan, dating expert and VP of Dating.com said. 

But feeling good after a first date is a good sign that your potential bae is, well, worth a second date. Try to leave it at that. Some post good date vibes will have you feeling pretty confident and optimistic.

“You won’t feel insecure, so you won’t be replaying your every statement and wondering if you made the right impression,” Winter said. “And you won’t feel the need to monitor or edit your communication style for fear you’ll look too eager.”

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