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2019 Black Love Summit

Source: Paras Griffin / Getty

Erica Campbell is promoting her new book More Than Pretty, which is in stores now. Recently, she appeared on “The Breakfast Club” to discuss the book, which is about being beautiful inside—doing to the hard work to become the best version of yourself. In spreading this message, she’s said that it’s important not to run from the painful moments in your life.

DJ Envy: You talked about self love, you talked about self pleasuring. And you said, ‘Where does God go when you’re self pleasuring?’

Erica Campbell: Where does He go? Somebody asked me the question, ‘Was it wrong, was it right?’ I know some churches say for the bruthas. ‘It’ll keep you from slipping up. Go ahead and handle yourself. I’ve heard some women say, ‘I take care of myself before I go out on a date.’

I think about purity and purity happens before the actual action of whatever you do. Whatever you watch, whatever you listen to, whatever you do with yourself. Your mind being a place of purity is very crucial. But I think in our society today, everything is sexualized. You could be selling chicken and there will be a pair of boobs there. It’s just everywhere. So I think guarding your mind and guarding your thoughts and treating sex and sexuality as something beautiful that God created that’s supposed to be beautiful and otherworldly and you come together with somebody and your lives come together. It’s not so cheap.

I just don’t think it’s supposed to be done by yourself. I got an amazing, fine, wonderful husband so I just don’t have to. I got a husband there. Now, I know for singles, it might be a different story but there are married people who would just rather handle it themselves. And I can’t imagine what your husband feels like. Now, I gotta compete with your toys. It’s too much.

That’s between you and God but I just think when you are trying to live a pure life, when you are trying to hold yourself and keep yourself, for this beautiful, special wonderful moment or life with a spouse, don’t lessen it. Don’t cheapen it.

I’m not judging nobody. I’m just talking about what God created. And it’s always the enemy’s job to pervert it, to twist it, to corrupt it, to make it filthy. He gave us free will. We can choose Him or not. There is a way that is right. There is a way that is honoring God. And the scripture says, there is a way that seems right to man. That doesn’t mean that it lines up with God wants for you. And I feel like God’s plan is always a bigger, better, more awesome plan that we can’t see and we don’t understand but I believe there is greatness in that obedience, in that faith.”

As a person who tries to live in a way that’s pleasing to God, I can’t understand how masturbation is impure. I don’t agree that physical pleasure should be reserved for people who are married. And I don’t think that touching your own body is something unGodly or perverted. Not only is masturbation a great way to exercise sexual selectivity, it’s perfect for getting to know and learn your own body, especially as a woman.

It’s unrealistic to believe that you’re supposed to go from virginity, with no masturbation, to penetrative sex—in the context of what is “holy” and right according to many Christians.

I don’t believe that the design and functionality of our bodies are engineered by mistake. God gave us sexual desire, genitalia and other body parts that respond to sexual stimuli. And even the ability to get the job done. As one man pointed out, you can’t tickle your own feet but you can provide pleasure to yourself with your own hands.

Thank God!

You can listen to Erica’s entire interview in the video below.

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