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Everyone who has been in a longterm relationship knows that it takes a lot of patience and spontaneity to keep the fires of love alive. During certain seasons of partnership, you and your partner may even feel you’ve fallen out of love. Between hectic schedules, kids, and chores, the flames of passion can slowly start to die. But don’t fret when this happens–it’s natural. And you can bring the spark back alive.
“It is natural for relationships to shift in intensity and connection,” relationship and wellness coach Shula Melamed told Elite Daily. “Sometimes the feeling of ‘falling out of love’ could be a byproduct of the people in the relationship not taking the time, care or effort to maintain the overall health of the relationship.”
In order to get back into a groove, couples must be intentional about “doing” love versus just feeling it.
“When people ‘fall back in love’ they are choosing to go back in and recognize ‘love’ is a verb, an active process of making decisions to co-create the experience,” Melamed explains.
And there is so much to look forward to on the other side of this process. Most couples who catch their third or second wave of “in love” emerge even stronger than they were before.
“The love you find yourself falling into will likely be different and perhaps be a richer experience given what you have gone through to reconnect,” Melamed said.
“You know what it is like to lose the love so, you may build better habits around connecting and maintaining love.”
There’s definitely hope. As long as there weren’t pressing issues that caused a chasm in your connection, you both should be able to find your way back to on another.
“Once you love someone, unless your respect for them is destroyed, you can always love them again,” Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, previously told Elite Daily.
“This is the person who knows your hopes, dreams, and secrets. You had a bond that is easy to reestablish. Why do you think some people are always threatened by their partner’s ex? You’ve got a hold on them and vice-versa.”
