“Being a queer black woman in America, someone who has been in relationships with both men and women – I consider myself to be a free-a– motherf–ker,” she said at the time. Monáe stated that she initially identified as bisexual, but after doing her research, “I read about pansexuality and was like, ‘Oh, these are things that I identify with too.’ I’m open to learning more about who I am.”
And while the 33-year-old actress and singer is open to learning more about her sexuality, as well as talking about it, she revealed in a new interview with InStyle that members of her family haven’t been too crazy about her revelation.
“The majority of [my family] grew up Baptist, and the sermons would all be around how if you are a homosexual or if you’re gay and you don’t repent and live a hetero-normative life and get married, well … hell is your final destination,” she said. “I talked to my mom and dad first, and my mom, in particular, had a lot of questions. I said, ‘Mama, the only way that I can create art is to truthfully tell my story. It has to come from an honest place, and this is who I honestly am. I don’t know any other way. I have to talk about my sexuality. I have to talk about my blackness. I have to talk about my womanness. I have to talk about these things. This is who I am as a person.'”
The Dirty Computer singer said that she doesn’t hold any anger towards those in her family who aren’t fond of her sexuality. She has, at least, been able to gain some understanding with her mom, who has become her staunchest supporter in passionately defending her lifestyle from those relatives. She said her mother says, “I don’t want to have to slap a fool, but I will over my daughter” when ignorance rears its ugly head nowadays.
But aside from trying to prepare herself for the confusion from loved ones, Monáe is also trying to get used to questions about who she’s dating.
“I’m a very private person, so I’ve been trying to navigate the space of talking about identity without disclosing that information,” she said. “We’re in a culture where people obsess and obsess over those sorts of things. And I get it.”
As of right now though, she’s happily riding solo, telling InStyle the thing that brings her a lot of pleasure these days is masturbation. She’s making up for lost time.
“I have been in situations where as a young girl you have compromised your morals and your values and you feel used,” she said. “And I’m like, ‘If my mother had let me have a vibrator at a young age to be in touch with my body more, I could have saved myself from so many poor decisions.'”