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Something has got her full attention

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It’s hard to take any of these reality stars seriously. After all, some of them have shown us that for decades they’ll do their best to act a fool in the name of a check. And whether that’s always been their personality or they dial it up for the cameras and social media, I think some of the behavior becomes a pattern and seeps into their real lives.

For that reason, I wasn’t exactly shocked to find that Stevie J. and Faith Evans, a married couple, have stopped following one another on Instagram. What I was shocked to hear was how common this occurrence is. When The Neighborhood Talk shared this development on their Instagram feed, there was comment, after comment, after comment about people in whole marriages saying that blocking their spouse was also a strategy they employed when they had an argument. Most people said they do it and that it wasn’t a big deal. But one person offered an explanation. “Social media isn’t real, marriage is.”

I found it all hard to believe. Mostly because I don’t block people until I deem them toxic in one way or another or I want them out of my life completely and scrolling past their feed every day would make that difficult. Because as much as some people like to pretend otherwise, social media is a part of our real lives. It would be silly to act like it doesn’t have the power to shape our emotions and influence our decisions. The mere fact that couples are using it to block one another speaks to how seriously we take it. You don’t want to do anything drastic like leave their physical presence but you want it off your phone. And more likely than not, you want them to know that you’ve blocked them. It’s wild.

While I was shocked and appalled, my husband couldn’t understand why I would be. He said that millions of couples do pettier things every day in the name of resentment. He told me a story of a woman being so upset with her fiance in the midst of an intense argument that she pawned her engagement ring. But not only did she sell it, she was deceptive about it. When the two made up, she told her man that she lost the ring. (These two people are still together, they’re just not married. It’s probably for the best.)

In that case, I’d advocate for blocking someone instead of behaving so rashly in real life–so perhaps, blocking is a better alternative.

Still, all of it makes me wonder is this another example of social media negatively affecting our communication skills or is blocking your spouse, the new technological version of the silent treatment? Honestly, the old one didn’t do us too many favors. More often than not, not speaking to people about your issues but engaging in petty behavior to hurt their feelings in return only breeds additional resentment. And doing this on social media gives the nosy among us additional insight into the personal and private problems in your marriage. And it just doesn’t have to be this way.

Still, my way isn’t for everybody and vice versa. If blocking someone prevents you from doing some real damage offline, then carry on. I just know for me, in my marriage and other relationships, if you’re irritating, aggravating, stressing or hurting me, I’m trying to sit down, look in your eyes and talk until it’s resolved, so I can go back to scrolling IG in peace, with all of my loved ones present and accounted for.

Have you ever blocked your spouse on social media in the midst of a heated argument?

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days” and the creator of the website NoSugarNoCreamMag. You can follow her on Facebook and on Instagram and Twitter @VDubShrug.
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