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Actress Ryan Michelle Bathe, like many other Black children grew up with parents who believed in the mantra of “spare the rod and spoil the child.”

The First Wives Club star and her husband, This Is Us actor Sterling K. Brown, want to discipline their two sons, Amaré, 3, and Andrew, 8, differently.

Bathe penned an op-ed for PEOPLE, reflecting on her upbringing, one which sometimes included “corporal punishment.”

“When I was growing up, where my culture and religion intersected, corporal punishment was the order of the day,” she wrote, writes Bathe.

“I have been beaten for staying up late doing homework that I left to the last minute, not washing dishes, talking back, sticking my tongue out at my cousin, breaking a flower pot . . . and many other infractions that I can’t even remember,” she adds.

Bathe says she can recall the painful memories of the aftermath of the beatings.

“I can remember crying while nursing my welts after being whipped and hearing, ‘Stop crying or I’ll really give you something to cry about,’” said Bathe.

When she met Brown college, who she later married in 2007, Bathe was enlightened and encouraged to forge a different path with the birth of the couple’s first son.

“And then I had kids. And everything changed,” she recalls. “I was exposed to articles about discipline and the science around corporal punishment. It rocked me to my core… Research shows that corporal punishment is highly questionable at best, and by no means is it the best way to discipline a child at all, according to science.”

“The good news is that my husband and I are in agreement about corporal punishment. So we continue forward. Praying for guidance. Hoping that love will be enough,” she continued.

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