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“On the grind” and “hustling” are mantras used to celebrate our cultural obsession with work. And while work and our careers are a necessary component of staying alive, when they start to take away from the real connections and love we have at home, the effects on your relationships can be detrimental.
When your loved one expresses they need more from you, it can adversely feel like they aren’t supporting your work ambitious or are distracting you from your grind, but in reality, if we aren’t working to take care of the ones we love the most, what is this all for?
Alice Boyes Ph.D and writer for Psychology Today, broke down why being “too busy” in an excuse that can ruin your love life.
Do Away With The Mentality That You Are “Doing It For the Family”
“Even when your motivation is to provide for your family, it’s important not to use this as a blanket justification for ignoring their needs in the present. It can be difficult to repair relationships if you ignore them for too long,” Boyes explains.
She suggests investing in your relationships with the same vigor you do your career. They both deserve your attention.
Your Priorities Leave You Clueless Of Your Partner’s Priorities
Boyes challenges you busy folks to ask yourself “what are my partner’s priorities right now?” If you don’t know them, you may have your head too far up your own butt. She advises that couples should carve out time to take a walk or talk in bed or even take a long car ride. You have to carve out time to connect within your busy schedule.
Don’t Ignore Your Partner’s Attempt At Getting Your Attention
Partners who feel deprived of your attention may find subtle ways to lock you in.
“A huge part of emotional trust is perceiving that you can easily get your partner’s attention,” Boyes writes.
“People in relationships do many micro behaviors aimed at getting the other person’s attention. For instance, if you’re working in one room, your partner might come into the room on the pretense of looking for something”
Have a talk about ways to get each other’s attention without nagging or being irritating. It can be a quick and simple kiss, or a hand hold. The rules are up to you.
