“Played Myself”: Diddy Says He Regrets Not Marrying Kim Porter When He Had The Chance

March 4, 2019  |  

The 2003 CFDA Fashion Awards - Arrivals

Source: Carmen Valdes / Getty

Over the weekend, Diddy shared an old photo of himself cuddled up close to late ex-girlfriend Kim Porter. He captioned the photo “SMH,” which means “shaking my head” of course, next to an emoji of a broken heart.

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💔 SMH

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In the comment section of the photo, despite the many statements of support and condolences, Diddy responded to the negative opinion of one fan who told the 49-year-old media mogul, “When she was alive you didn’t want to marry her,” calling him a “confused negro” and telling him to “GTFOH.”

Diddy responded, “I know. Played myself smh.”

This is certainly a major change in tune for Diddy, who despite his high-profile relationships with Porter, Jennifer Lopez and Cassie, has always been very hesitant about the idea of marriage.

“I think marriage is so serious,” he told PEOPLE a few years ago. “You’re making a commitment to somebody under law. Unless you’re ready to do everything that’s said, then you shouldn’t get married.”

“Life is a journey,” he added. “So I have to get myself all the way together before I’m really ready for [marriage.] That, for me, is something very, very serious. One day, I hope that I find that within myself and that I’ll be able to do it.”

Diddy was in a relationship with Porter off and on from 1994 to 2007. They have four children together. That includes Christian, daughters Jessie and D’Lila, and Porter’s oldest son with singer Al B Sure, Quincy, whom Diddy claims as his own.

And while they had many good times and brought children into the world together, both parties knew he wasn’t ready to be anybody’s husband. That’s why they never said “I do.” In an interview with ESSENCE in 2009, after she left him and their long-term relationship soon after having their twins, she confirmed that if he had asked her before she left, she would say thanks, but no thanks.

“I would say ‘No.’ And not because I don’t want to get married, but because he’s not ready to get married,” she said. “When I get married, I want to stay married. I want both parties to be on the same page at the same time, and to leave a certain type of behavior behind. That’s a commitment I don’t think he’s ready for.”

Porter passed away in November of last year, succumbing to lobar pneumonia. The model and mother was 47 years old.

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