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Women of a certain age, often end up having the same conversations about dating and relationships. And one question I’ve been asked more than a few times is whether or not I’d date a man with children. My answer at 17 was the same as it was at 31.
Issa no for me dawg.
For several reasons. While most people name dealing with an ex-wife or baby momma as the reason they don’t want to date or marry a man with children, my concern is about the attention he would be able to devote to me. If you’re a man with children, your first priority should always be to those children. If the mother of his children falls on hard times and she has no one else to turn to, I can’t be mad if she comes to my man asking for financial help. After all, if the children live with their mother most of the time, then she should be taken care of, for the stability and well being of the children. If we planned a vacation but one of his children needs money for an extracirricular activity, I have to be okay with my vacation being postponed. Because that’s what mature adults do, prioritize the needs and even wants of children. Childhood is short and they deserve for it to be a pleasant as possible. There are times when I’m going to have to come second. I was reminded of them all after I saw a clip of LeToya Luckett and her new husband Tommicus Walker for the new and improved version of “The Family Hustle.”
As we’ve reported before, Luckett is pregnant with her first child, while Walker is the father to a 6-year-old daughter Madison.
In this particular episode, LeToya told Tommicus that she felt like he left her in a moment of vulnerability. Luckett believed that she might go into labor early and it was scary, particularly because she’d had a miscarriage two years ago. In the clip, Luckett explained that she didn’t even want to approach Walker because she didn’t want to come off as a “nag.”
You can watch the clip of this moment below.
I think couple discussions like this one are so interesting because there’s not right or wrong answer. Was LeToya wrong for wanting her man to support her in a vulnerable moment? Absolutely not. Was Tommicus wrong for making time to see his daughter after two weeks apart? Absolutely not. As he explained in the video, he wants to ensure that all of the women in his life are prioritized. When Luckett has her daughter, I’m sure she would want him to do what he needs to do to be there for their daughter as well. I’m sure his devotion to his daughter is one of the qualities that made him more attractive.
A man who doesn’t take care of his children, people who are biologically connected to him, isn’t likely to take care of a woman who is not.
Still, this is the reason women prefer to share their first child with a man who hasn’t had children before. So that his attention won’t have to be divided between equally valid priorities.
Thankfully, in this interaction, it was good to see that the two were able to talk about each of their feelings in a way that showed each party was willing to listen to the concerns of others. If LeToya feels comfortable coming to him with her issues and he listens and responds with patience and kindness, they should be able to navigate this blended family.
