NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 12: Actress Pam Grier visits the SiriusXM Studios on October 12, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)
The legendary Pam Grier is in the process of putting together a movie about her life. She stopped by “Sway In The Morning,” to talk about the process of casting key figures in her story as well as anecdotes about the various celebrities she’s dated…and why the relationships ultimately didn’t work out. All of it was very informative and could serve as a lesson of how young women should view and prioritize themselves in the context of romantic relationships. Check out a couple fo the highlights below.
On the elation she felt casting Jay Pharaoh as Richard Pryor
That’s like when you’ve had an orgasm for seven hours. You’re not gon’ survive it.
Sway: Are you speaking from experience?
Yes I am.
Tracy G: Who gave it to you?
Myself. That’s how badssery I am. That’s when you get old. They get longer. I just want to let you know there’s going to be some happiness at the end of that rainbow. As you’re crawling to the finish line.
On dating Kareem Abdul Jabbar
I would have become a Muslim if Kareem had given me enough time. But then when I realized I was going to be so oppressed and I may not get that education and he may back off on the offer, I said I love me more and I can’t make you that happy so be my friend. And we’re still friends to this day. We loved Jazz and we loved sports. We’re both inquisitive. I just didn’t find Islam was for me. Because it’s not monolithic, it’s conservative, moderate, fundamental and liberal.
And I kept asking him ‘What are we going to be?’ And he couldn’t tell me. He said, ‘You ask too many questions.’ What? Excuse me?That’s why you like me. That’s why you love me. I ask questions.’ If I’m going to give up my life to become your wife and live under your star and fame of basketball, who will I be? What will happen? That saved me. My purpose said step back.
The good thing about dating Freddie Prinze
He said ‘Pam, you gotta do Broadway. You have so much potential.’ He gave me that. He shared that. He wasn’t afraid of me doing that. It’s really nice when your partner, your man says, ‘Hey I ain’t afraid, baby, you being a star. Go ahead, make more money. I support you.’ You find the gems in one another…It broke my heart to see that [Prinze’ suicide] because Freddie didn’t have anybody to talk to. And he didn’t have peers and he was alone and by himself. And next thing I know, I get the call, ‘Freddie just took his life.’ I remember leaving this guest house, falling to the ground, watching the police and stuff. He died in that hotel alone. And he reached out to me but he had a gun. And I love myself more. I said, ‘I’m not going there and have him shoot me.’ I take care of my family. I’m paying a lot of mortgages, putting people through college. I’ve been given a purpose and I can’t have him take my life. I wasn’t taught that.
Mental Health
We didn’t talk about it because we didn’t know. We made it so shameful. We were really judgmental in a negative way.
Why it didn’t work with Richard Pryor
I told him, ‘I’m not a crutch. I can be when you need it but when are you going to help me?’ …I don’t think he was addicted because he was able to get off everything with me for nine months, cold turkey. So that was some strength.
You think you have an addictive personality when you’re around certain people. The day he was supposed to go and sign a Columbia picture deal, was the day—that morning we put out his suit, his tie. He was excited. He got his shave. He was ready to be the new Richard Pryor with a deal and hire all these people. I come home, he’s sitting in the kitchen with his friends from Peoria, in his bathrobe. He canceled the meeting because his homies was so strong, so powerful. ‘Come on man, you don’t need that meeting. We came to see you.’ So they’re sitting in the kitchen. And I’m going, ‘Did you go to the meeting?’ I said, ‘Did they bring a bottle or something this time?’ I’m being sarcastic. You bring food to somebody’s house. They never did. I bring this up because I said, ‘I know you pay for them. You take care of them but when are they going to take care of you?…Don’t tell me not to bring this up, I’m your partner.’ And I saw that he’d fallen off the wagon. Lot of stuff was on the table.
And I just said, this could be it. Because the producer called me and said ‘Is Richard coming?’ I said, ‘Yup he’s coming. I promise you. He put the suit out. He’s going to make the deal with you. He’s not going to stand you up.’ And he did it. So he did that to me as well. You break that with me, one time, we’re done. I’m like a horse. I’m like an animal. I’ll kick you or turn around and poop on you, something.
She was also promoting her new Black film streaming service called Brown Sugar. Check out the classic Black movies on the site, here.
