If you’re in a long-term relationship, but you—how do I put this gracefully—had your fun back in the day, then you’ve probably noticed that the way you are in bed in a committed relationship versus the way you were in bed during one night stands and casual flings is very different. Each has their merits. With your serious partner, there’s the element of love, which can make sex so much better. When you physically connect, you’re strengthening emotional connections, too. And, it’s nice to have that sense of built-in trust in a committed relationship, and the understanding that you’re the only person this person gets this close to. But, one-night stands had that whole primal thing. You tried whatever. You were spontaneous and fearless. Long-term couples can struggle to infuse that type of spontaneity into their sex life. And here is why that happens.
Your bedroom vs life identity
Your partner has this really solidified idea of who you are. And, perhaps, if you were able to let your freak flag fly, he’d see that your bedroom personality is very different than, well, the rest of your personality. And for some reason, you worry that that difference will frighten him.