It’s not uncommon to depend on your significant other while in a relationship, however there is a such thing as being too dependent on someone else.
If you simply cannot make a move, express an opinion or be around others for too long, then you might be showing some of the problematic warning signs. When you’re in a relationship you’re in love and want to spend every waking moment with your partner, but it can quickly spiral out of control and be a cause of concern.
To find out if are too dependent, check out these signs and perhaps stop the behavior before it threatens to tear down all the relationships in your life…even the one you hold so dear.
Their Life Is Your Whole Life
Whatever is going on with their life, is going on in yours and you are so completely wrapped up in it that can’t even find your way out. Being interested and invested in your partner’s life is great, but everyone has to have their own life outside of it.
Try to tear yourself away from your partner’s hip and refocus your energy on your own life, what your goals, passions and aspirations are. Give your partner a chance to devote as much time and energy into you as you do with them.
You Never Spend Anytime Alone
Finding yourself head over heels in love is one of the best feelings in the world. It’s so addictive that you want to spend every second of everyday with the person that’s making you so happy. Unfortunately, once the newness wears off you have to face the fact that spending some time apart is what is going to give your relationship longevity.
Time some time for yourself. Go get your hair done, relax at a spa, indulge in some retail therapy, whatever you used to do alone, start doing that again. You need to give your partner a chance to miss you and there no better way to do that than enjoying some “me” time.
You’ve Alienated Yourself From Friends & Loved Ones
You haven’t seen your friends and family in so long that you’ve almost forgotten what they look like. Alienation while in a relationship is a serious problem that can have lasting consequences because it can permanently damage your relationships.
You need to understand that your family and friends loved you, supported you and were there for you long before you were in a relationship, so it’s totally selfish to just disappear because you’re in love. Additionally, if your partner is encouraging you to go ghost on your friends and family, then you need to leave them behind immediately.
You’ve Given Up Your Interests And Hobbies
Remember when you used to actually have hobbies and interests outside of those your share with your partner? If you’re having trouble recalling that time, then you are definitely too dependent.
It’s fine to do things together, but you shouldn’t abandoned things that you enjoyed doing because you happen to be in a relationship. Not to rain on your parade, but if your relationship were to end, those interests and hobbies you’ve abandoned could help you get through it.
You’ve Become A Pushover
You bend to their will at every turn. Even when you don’t agree with an issue your partner is presenting, you always end up giving end. This behavior sets a bad tone that allows your partner to think that they can do/say whatever and you will always let them get away with it.
Being a doormat is not the way to a lasting relationship, despite what you may think. The respect level that your partner should have for you is diminished because you never stand up for your opinions.
You Have Constant Anxiety That It Will End
Regardless of how happy you are in your relationship and how amazing your partner is, you spending every waking moment terrified that it will end. You’re worried that you may do something they do like, or not do enough or fear that they are searching for someone better.
You have a millions scenarios in your head of how (and when) your relationship will end, which causes you not to live in the moment and actually enjoy it. If you continue to put out the energy that you fear your partner may leave you…they just might.
If The Communication Isn’t Constant, You Freak Out
In this day and age, spending numerous text messages throughout the day is common, thanks to smartphones. However, if you don’t receive a certain about of texts, social media messages or phone calls all day, everyday, there is no reason to have a mental breakdown.
No, it doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is cheating, no, it doesn’t mean they’re over the relationship. It usually just means that they have other things going on at the moment and they didn’t have the time. Relax.
You Check With Them First For All Decisions
You can’t (and won’t) make any decisions unless you run them by your partner first. What you wear, what you eat, how you should handle a situation, all of these decisions and many more cannot be answered until you ask your partner for their input.
If you have been made to feel that you have to check with your partner before you make any decisions then you should address the issue head on, but if you are the one who insists that you ask them first, you need to find out why.
Their Approval Is All That Matters
We all want to feel like the people we love approve of our choices at some point in our lives, but the approval of others should never drive your intentions…especially in your relationship.
This is seriously unhealthy behavior and should be addressed as soon as possible because wanting your partners approval and needing it are two completely different things. You need to ask yourself why their input on all of your life’s decisions matters so much and why you don’t think you can function unless they wholeheartedly approve.
Whenever They’re Upset,You Think It’s All Your Fault
You put all the blames upon yourself when your partner is upset, regardless if it actually has anything to do with you or not. Whether it’s work-related, family issues or a dispute with friends, you take it upon yourself to put all of your partner’s problems on your shoulders.
Finding out why you feel the need to place the blame on yourself is a much deeper issue that likely comes from an overwhelming need to please, not thinking you’re good enough and fear that your relationship is in jeopardy if you don’t accept responsibility for your partner’s issues.
You Don’t Recognize Yourself Anymore
Take a second to really look in the mirror at yourself and reflect on who you are at the current moment and the choices you are making. If you don’t recognize the person you see staring back at you, it means that you have lost your self-identity.
A few changes are expected when you get into a new relationship, but completely changing who you are is a serious issue. Whether you’re encouraged by your partner or yourself to change everything about you, you need to understand that doing so won’t make the relationship last any longer than it’s supposed to.