There’s a meme going around that I would like to present here for your consideration.
Generally, memes on social media don’t require any significant thought or present a particular dilemma. But I found this one to be interesting in the sense that it illustrates what happens for so many of us in real life.
When a woman determines that a relationship is over, does she just disappear or tell the man about himself.
I responded to my Facebook friend who posted this meme with this: “Depends on whether you have time for community service in your schedule.”
After all, once you’ve decided you’re done with him, there’s likely to be little he could say or do to remedy the situation. So the thought that you’d tell him about himself would be, hopefully, for the next woman he meets. Perhaps, he can be better for her. Or, in the best situation, better for himself. If he decides to heed your advice and do better, there is a small chance you’ll be the beneficiary of this changed man.
Still, there are women who feel better knowing that they’ve gotten their feelings off of their chest. That a man can understand exactly why she’s not dealing with him anymore. There is value in catharsis.
When I think about myself, a woman with very limited dating experience, who has ghosted with and without explanation, I think the decision generally came down to whether or not I was invested in the man’s personal growth even though I knew he wouldn’t be growing with me.
With the man who texted me “wyd?” or some variation of “good morning beautiful,” for two weeks straight after meeting a birthday party, it was just a ghost, with no explanation whatsoever. I didn’t have time.
But the man who I dated off and on for years got an explanation about why this wasn’t gon work. I loved him and wanted him to be and do better for himself.
So I guess it depends on attachment and the connection you did or didn’t build with the person.
What do you think about this meme? When do you offer an explanation and when do you dip without warning?
