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While in the office earlier this week, a co-worker told us about a video, the one below, where a guy commented on a story about a woman who had a very interesting request of a man during a date.
To sum it up, a man and a woman, the latter of which having two children, were on a date and having a good time getting to know one another. By the end of their dining experience, when the check came, she asked the man, who was covering the bill, if he could buy a couple of take-out meals for her kids at home. When he said no, she was bothered about it for the rest of the night. Because of that, he cut the date short. Afterward, he went online and asked the question of whether or not he was in the wrong, or if she was for asking that of him. The YouTube personality (Derrick Jaxon) behind the video that went viral is not the guy who had to endure such a date, but he had some strong opinions about it:
The consensus in the office was that the woman was out of line. The guy was just getting to know her and certainly hadn’t met her kids yet, so why ask him to take on that responsibility? All of the people around me, which were a majority of women, said that he wasn’t wrong for wanting to end the date over her attitude about the situation, and that she needed to take care of her own kids.
I totally understood their feelings and could agree. But the way I am, if I were the guy in the situation, I would have handled it differently.
I am a very sympathetic person. If I walk past a homeless individual on the street asking for money and don’t have any cash to give, I often feel terrible. So if someone I’m spending actual time with tells me they could use help buying a kiddie meal or two for their children, I’m likely going to fall for it and help. I may feel annoyed at the request, and may want to rethink spending more time with the person in the future, but I wouldn’t take it out on the kids that their mom has her priorities backwards.
But as I said, that’s just me. For many, such a request would probably be the ultimate turnoff. But for the guy who actually went on the date, being asked to take on such a responsibility didn’t keep him from wanting to enjoy the rest of the evening with this woman. For her though, the rejection was enough to sabotage what was left of the night. But she was expecting too much, and as the man in the video stated, she was entitled. Instead of asking someone to put food on the table for her kids, she could have tried one of the following options:
- Ate a little bit of the meal she ordered and saved the rest for her kids.
- Said she was going to order two meals for her kids but make clear she was planning to pay for them (he might have offered then).
- Stayed home with her kids and made sure they had food.
With that being said, even though I may have done things differently, I don’t think this gentleman went about the situation in the wrong way at all. He said no and tried to continue on with the date, and she wanted no parts of it. It happens. The lesson that could be learned though, is that we need to go into dates hopeful for a good time and the chance to get to know a good person. We need to expect the simple things. Because when we go in looking for handouts or thinking we’re owed something because we’re giving of our time, we can’t be surprised by the reaction and response we get. Wrangle in your expectations and take care of home before you leave it for a date.
