why you should be friends with your in-laws

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There are so many relationships to navigate, attend to, keep alive, and nurture in this life. Between your friends, your spouse, your children, your coworkers, and your family, your plate can feel pretty full with managing plenty of personality types and their various needs. So when you do get married, and realize that you’ve just taken on an entire new family, the change can come as a bit of a shock. You suddenly have all of these people in your life who, by law, are your family. As such, you want to know them and feel close to them. You sort of feel a need to do that fast because you are married to their blood, after all. This can all be overwhelming, and lead some people to just not put forth a huge effort with their in-laws. But you’ll be really happy to have that relationship, if you put in the work. Here is why you should be friends with your in-laws.

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You need them on your side for his health

At some point, your partner may need a medical procedure that he won’t want to get. You’ll need his parents on your side, encouraging him to make the frightening but important step of undergoing that procedure.

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Sometimes you have to hang out with them alone

Hey, your partner won’t always be around as a social buffer. Sometimes you’ll have to take long car rides or spend all day with your in-laws—sans your partner—and wouldn’t it be nice if you had rapport?

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They made the man you love

They did make the man that you love, after all, so they probably have some personality traits and values you’d admire. It may be easier to fall into a happy rhythm with them than you think.

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Free babysitters

Childcare is ridiculously expensive these days, and you can never count on a babysitter to care about your kids the way you would. But, you can pretty much count on the fact that your child’s grandparents will care about them as much as you do—and they won’t charge you for childcare.

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You may need somewhere to stay

Whether you need somewhere to stay after selling one home and before moving into another, or you need somewhere to stay while your home is renovated, your in-laws can give you free room and board.

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Additional emotional support

We need all the emotional support we can get in this life. If you nurture your relationship with your in-laws, they will care about your life—your career, your wellbeing, and more—as if they were your own parents.

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You can’t talk to your real parents about everything

There are some matters in life on which you’d like some parental-type guidance, but which you can’t talk to your actual parents about. In-laws come in handy during those times.

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You understand your own family better

There are really only two families you’ll get to know very well in your lifetime—only two families that will take you in and show you what goes on behind the scenes. Those are your family, and your significant other’s. And when you get to know another family well, you start to understand yours much better. You appreciate certain things about your family you never appreciated before.

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They’ll love to spoil you

Your partner’s parents will love to spoil you. There’s something about daughter-in-laws. In-laws just love to spoil them! Especially if they never had a daughter of their own.

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You may need their support financially

At some point, you and your partner may need help paying for your child’s college, or for an earthquake retrofitting on your home. You may need to pool resources between both your parents and your in-laws then.

Todd Dulaney and Kenya and kids, Image by Marc Anthony

Raising a child takes a village

Raising a child really does take a village. Your in-laws are a wealth of information, resources, love, and care. With them, plus your parents, your children will be in great shape.

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You won’t have your parents forever

It’s not pleasant to talk about, but you won’t have your parents forever. If you lose them before your partner loses his, you’ll be so grateful you still have another close parental unit in your life.

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You can get help planning gifts/surprises

Your spouse’s parents probably know a lot about what sorts of gifts and surprises he likes, so they can be a lot of help in that department.

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You could help heal wounds in his family

Somehow, a newcomer can be just the thing a family needs to heal old wounds. You can help bridge some gaps in your spouse’s family ties, and help him nurture some relationships back to life.