MadameNoire Featured Video

name in phone


Do you change your partner’s name in your phone when your relationship gets serious?

If you do, you’re probably one of those people who has them saved as “Babe,” “My Love” or some kind of pet name or inside joke between the two of you. Every time they call and you see their lovey-dovey identifier, you get excited.

That’s cute and all, but if you choose not to list your significant as something other than their name, is that an issue?

On a recent episode of Married at First Sight, which is obviously not the best gauge for how to go about relationships, Boston newlyweds Shawniece and Jephte were exchanging information following their wedding. In the scene, she wanted him to save her name in his phone as “My Wife,” but Jephte, who we all now know has zero interest in trying to get closer to his “stranger” danger new wife, just wanted to save her number by her first and last name.

Shawniece tried to kick up a little bit of dust about it, but Jephte being Jephte said, “What am I supposed to put?” He told her he has to get to know her better first before he can even think of referencing her as something sentimental (let alone sleep in the same bed as her):


This concern over the way a person you’re seeing identifies you in their phone seems to bother a lot of people. For instance, a writer for Glamour once shared how she was annoyed by how impersonally a guy she once dated saved her name and number in his phone.

“I once dated a guy I’d met online, and I found out later that he had programmed me into his cell as ‘Erin Match New York journalist,'” she said. “I was almost insulted because it seemed impersonal (plus, how many Erins does he know?) but I also found it funny. At some point I asked him to change it, though. Then I thought, *Why do I care? It’s not my phone.*”

And is it a sign that your relationship is on the rocks if your significant other once had your number saved under something affectionate and then changes it to your actual first and last name? For one woman who shared her concerns in a love, marriage and motherhood thread, she was shook over it.

“my boyfriend had my name on his phone as ‘my baby girl’ and now its just my name,” she said. “wjat [sic] do ypu [sic] think of this??? Should i be worried??? Im realy [sic]  upset about it.”
To be intrigued by that change is one thing. But to be upset? Perhaps he just matured and realized saving her in his phone as “my baby girl” was coming off mad high school instead of adult relationship.
You know, I often have thoughts about the ways in which technology has complicated dating. Whether it be the way texting has made people so lazy about actually picking up the phone and calling someone, how dating apps have kept many from going out and actually making connections, or how many of us take it as a slight if our significant other doesn’t share pictures of us on social media. Nowadays, what should feel like an afterthought in the criteria of what makes a relationship last is something to have hurt feelings about. But c’mon, how someone saves you in their phone shouldn’t be the window into what kind of partner they are. And to be honest, if you need all of that pomp to feel secure in your relationship, that’s not a good sign.
If you know a couple who has been married for decades, ask them what they saved their partner’s number as. Not wifey. Not honey bunch. Not babydoll. Not any of the playful, bubblegum stuff people think relationships are supposed to come with. It will probably be their first name. And if you meet someone and save their number as their whole name and their occupation to remember who they are, that’s fine. Your focus should be on continuing to get to know that person better and building a special connection with them — not on trying to find time to change their name in your phone from “Mike Davis accountant” to “Zaddy.”
If people have the time and the interest in playing phone name switcheroo in the hopes of avoiding being impersonal, that’s fine, but if they don’t, that shouldn’t be a worrying sign of trouble in the romance department. However, if they go from treating you like “My babe” to treating you like crap, then it might be time to actually worry. Focus more on the actions and less on the appearances…
But as usual, that’s just my opinion. What say you? Do you care how your partner saves your number and identifies you in their phone? 
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN