Why women-only networks and groups are in fact very important
Why Women Need Women-Only Groups
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I’m a member of several women-only groups. When I tell some men that, they jump to conclusions, asking things like, “Do you just bash men all day?” or “Is it some militant feminist group?” or “Why? Are you afraid of men?” No, no, and…well, yeah—have you seen the news lately? But we don’t have women-only groups because we’re afraid of men. We do still, after all, interact with men throughout the rest of our lives so we know there’s no avoiding them entirely. But women only groups can be very important when it comes to providing women a safe space to discuss a range of topics. Some people complain that they are exclusive. Well, women might argue that the world has been exclusive to women for centuries, which has forced us to need a safe space that’s just our own. Here is why women-only networks and groups are in fact very important.
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Men can dominate conversation
Men have a tendency to dominate conversation just because they speak differently than women do. They’re more comfortable talking over each other, and jumping in with what they have to say, without realizing that some people in the room haven’t had a chance to speak yet. Women communicate more symbiotically.
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There are topics men don’t want to hear about
We’re not oblivious to the fact that there are some things we enjoy and need to discuss that are just boring or obnoxious to men, just like there are things men like to discuss that are boring or obnoxious to us.
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We get those good hormones flowing
Women, in particular, get a boost of happy hormones when they socialize. So when you have a room full of just women, those happy hormones are flying everywhere. You can feel a positive, warm buzz in the room.
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It’s a totally de-sexualized environment
It’s an environment in which nobody is watching two other people talk and think, “Is that person using their sexual prowess to get ahead?” Nobody is wondering if there are sexual undertones or hidden agendas to any conversation.
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Nobody challenges our opinion, based on our gender
When women walk into a room of men, we immediately—consciously or not—wonder if our opinion will even be valued there. If there are only women there, that wall comes down.
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The world has been a men’s only group for a while
Whether it’s explicitly stated or not, most arenas in life have been men’s only places for a long time. So if men have a problem with there being a few places they can’t go, then they can cry about it.
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No need to combat male ego
There’s nothing like the male ego to create an imbalance in a conversation. When women speak in male-dominated meetings, they’re not just saying what they need to say: they’re also finding some way to placate the male ego so the men don’t feel threatened.
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We see things differently
Women tend to think about networking, deals, contracts, and other decisions with a larger picture in mind. We think with their logical and emotional brain, and can foresee certain outcomes that men don’t always see.
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We need to sound alarms about certain men
We need to warn each other about male predators out there. These can range from misogynistic bosses who clearly only promote men, to men who are actually harassing women. We need a place to warn each other, where the other men in the room don’t feel defensive.
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We have the same struggles
Women experience a lot of the same struggles, like a work life balance and feeling like their opinions aren’t valued in the workplace. Do men worry about these things? Sure. Do they worry about them nearly as much as women do? That question is hilarious.
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Women build relationships differently
Women don’t just think, “This person has what I want so I’ll ask for it.” They think more in terms of mutually beneficial, long-term relationships that will only become more beneficial over time.
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There’s no adjusting tone to get a man to listen
We don’t need to worry if our tone is coming off too gentle, nor do we have to force ourselves to use some aggressive tone that isn’t natural to us. We can just talk and the others in the room will listen.
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Our appearance doesn’t affect if people listen
Whether we show up dressed to the nines or in sweatpants, our physical appearance doesn’t affect whether or not people listen when we speak.
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It’s good to know someone’s looking out
It’s honestly just really nice to know that there are women who care about creating a safe space for other women, and who are dedicating time and resources to lifting other women up. Knowing that women’s only groups exist is comforting in and of itself.
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Because stop it already, men.
Men. Fellas. Dudes. Who is it hurting to have women’s only groups? Seriously. Men can walk into most places and never question, “Should I be here? Is someone going to hit on me and make me uncomfortable? Are my opinions valued?” Women need a place where those questions disappear. For men, that place is the world. So stop complaining.
