What Would You Do If Your Son Told You He Likes His Women “Vanilla”?

November 21, 2017  |  

Mixed race mother and son smiling

On this season of Bravo’s “Married to Medicine,” Dr. Simone has been sharing her latest marriage struggles, but the blow-ups between her and her husband have not only affected them, they’ve weighed on their teenage sons as well. The couple’s youngest son, Michael, appears to be particularly affected by their arguing, sending his mom a text asking if she and his dad are getting a divorce.

When Dr. Simone shares this with her husband, she chooses to have a one-on-one with him at a yogurt spot with her son to discuss the impact their arguing has had on him. Although the conversation was all honey and berries (and that was really the whole point), there was something else that stood out. As they were each getting yogurt, a serious conversation unfolded that went a little something like this.

Son: “Mama, I like my ice cream vanilla. I like my women vanilla.”

Dr. Simone: “I thought you liked your women chocolate, chocolate like your mama.”

Son: “I settled. I settled.”

Dr. Simone (in her confessional): “I want my baby to love him some chocolate, and if he can’t love chocolate, at least, let’s have a swirl.  Compromise?”

This is purely speculation, but clearly, Dr. Simone knew this was her son’s preference before it was recorded.  She chooses to laugh it off while also accepting it because, well, what else can she do? But while Sr. Simone can’t force her child to like Black girls, I am curious why her son has this preference. I also wonder whether he likes Black girls at all because if he doesn’t, then that, my dear, is a problem.

I’m not a mother, but I would imagine feeling some type of way if my son preferred to be with a girl who wasn’t Black like me and I’m guessing I’m not alone here. I assume Dr. Simone had those same feelings when she realized her son had a “Vanilla” preference.  And while this must be old news for her, since this is new news to me, I’m feeling some type of way.

I’m not angry. I’m not trying to incite division. I’m just curious as hell. Why would one have a racial preference that doesn’t reflect their own and how did it come about? That, to me, is worth exploring.

Twitter felt the same way during Sunday night’s episode, which prompted Dr. Simone to come to her son’s defense, saying she’ll simply be happy if he finds a woman he loves that loves him back.

She also suggested her son was joking about his preference and meant no harm.

That may be true, but we all know there’s a little bit of truth to every joke as well, which is why I still have some questions. What would you do if this was your son?

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